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Open Poetry #24
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-02-13 02:38 PM


Tyrant's marks upon the wall
the stuttered scrawl of a child
who's lost the reigns of his
and sets to pull those of another
into the depths with him

Until at last in hollowed skull
the slow burn of realization
that she is one of the wild
and would not be saddled
with the weight of his futility

Flee in cowardice of responsibilty
Flee through dusts now raised in fury
And beware the trample of freed spirit
you wished to stable

© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2003-02-13 02:55 PM


Very powerful! The free spirit not fitting into patterns ..... may it soar high and may we not stop that flight!
Beautiful really.
Margherita

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2003-02-13 03:01 PM


Raph... some good strong images here..
I enjoyed the read...and the thoughts..

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

3 posted 2003-02-13 03:40 PM


And beware the trample of freed spirit

Especially love this line.
Great images Raph.

enjoyed

Maree

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
4 posted 2003-02-13 03:58 PM


Very good, Raph.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
5 posted 2003-02-13 04:16 PM


Thank you Margherita I appreciate it and welcome to PIP

Thanks Cpat very kind of you to say

Thanks Maree the best part about those lines is the amazingly strong woman they were written for

Thanks Ethel glad you like it


inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
6 posted 2003-02-13 06:17 PM


interesting,and good, and intriguing
Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

7 posted 2003-02-13 06:23 PM


This poem claws its way to a thought provoking ending.  I enjoyed!

Rf

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2003-02-13 10:17 PM


Thanks Mish written for a friend in need

Thank you Robert glad it has impact

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