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Open Poetry #24
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Black Swan
Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 165
on the moon

0 posted 2003-02-10 04:22 PM


everyone is down
came and saw
time to look around
fame is construed (spelling ?)
this frame moves
tamed freedom desires
wisdom, bounded by experience
this life is so unknown
my fate, my shame fullblown
ive fallen so many times
hate to taste
hate to waste
passion deep from within
cant resist a gain
i want success,never wanna lose
everyone looks the same
and all over the place iam to blame
when i sleep i rarely desire to wake
reality hits me hard
truth knocks me down
what i want i can never have
complications resulting in dishonesty
lie,lie to me, go ahead and try
sweet baby face of shame
marked my pain
desire my reign


© Copyright 2003 Talia - All Rights Reserved
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

1 posted 2003-02-10 04:41 PM


This seems straight from the heart to the pen...passion flowing freely.
Great poem.
Eric

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-02-10 04:43 PM


Beautiful

Cold hands means a warm heart

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2003-02-10 04:47 PM


Black Swan - like the style of this writing, deep thoughts within...

BC

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
4 posted 2003-02-11 12:09 PM


I really like the style of this
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-02-11 02:42 PM


painful write...sad to me...I can relate
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2003-02-11 04:16 PM


I feel the suffering here. A straight to the point poem.

enjoyed

Maree.

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