Cannot A Sonnet Be... - pipTalk Forums

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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2003-02-08 12:46 PM

Fragile Eyes

I combine my words for the fragile of your eyes,
blue and engaging, your view kissing mine
in evening mists and dews of morn.

I can taste you still, warmth of lips pressing,
undressing my will, the doorway of my heart open.
Hand delivered, I would to you,
for at least a touch, a whispered warmth.

No sonnet can this be, just free of thoughts,
those of mine for you when combined, will never be lost,
ever, remembering that first moment when paths crossed.

You suspended me in time, when fingers graced
my right cheek in parting...unknowingly,
leaving your mark, a scribbling out of line,
a feeling that rises me to the want of you.

I wait for eyes to comfort me in the shadow's hold,
for your warmth to flood my body, a feeling
lifting me to that place where only the mind and body can meet,
allowing the past to flow freely and touch me once more.

My heart hears only the words that reach my eyes.
And my eyes won't change the visions in my heart.
I combine my words for the fragile of your eyes,
and your eyes only.

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (02-08-2003 12:49 PM).]

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

1 posted 2003-02-08 01:01 PM

This is so beautiful. The longing is clear to see.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

2 posted 2003-02-08 01:06 PM

WOW Maureen, what a beautiful piece you wrote here.

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2003-02-08 01:13 PM

I am always longing, Sue

Thank you Titia, I was trying to write a new sonnet but the form wouldn't come..so this is the best I could do.
hugssssssss
M

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2003-02-08 01:25 PM

This is lovely. Nice scenery of the senses.
Margherita

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2003-02-08 01:52 PM

And you thought mine was beautiful....Nay
dear lady, not compared to thy words
within..

Very well done M...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

6 posted 2003-02-08 02:47 PM

Margherita, thank you. I was trying to write a sonnet...

But as you know Barry, it doesn't always turn out the way you intended.
Thank you for the visit. I was listening to Norah Jones and heard somewhere in one of her songs, the words "fragile eyes"..and thought it was perfect for the one I wrote this for.

M

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

7 posted 2003-02-08 03:25 PM

Maureen, since I have no idea how to write a sonnet or any of the other forms of poetry that you talented poets here write, I was really touched by your poem. In fact, did you write this one just for me?!? Because, my "whatever's" are "written from my heart" and for my Love. He loves them, so that's all that really matters.
I guess you can tell that I really like this...

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (02-08-2003 03:26 PM).]

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

8 posted 2003-02-08 04:08 PM

thank you Ethel, but sorry to say this was written for a special someone to me...but you may use any poems I write, to send to your Gary. I guess poetry forms are easy for me because I like guidance

and I like rhythm and rhyme as well as free verse. It just depends what comes to mind first. This one wouldn't sonnet itself

Maureen

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

9 posted 2003-02-08 04:34 PM

A MAGNIFICENT write!
Who needs a sonnet when your love is strung in such phrases of beauty
I love this style
Very warm, enticing, and lovely
you have many talents
Liz

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2003-02-09 02:57 AM

this is a great read for me tonight

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

11 posted 2003-02-09 11:09 AM

Liz, I have to thank you for the inspiration to write yesterday. I had a lot of fun challenging myself. When I write, I have no idea how or where I am going and that is the fun part.
M

Dixie, I am glad you enjoyed the read last night.
hugss
M

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

12 posted 2003-02-09 01:42 PM

Deeply tender piece, well done. Can so relate. ThisDiamond

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

13 posted 2003-02-09 02:00 PM

No sonnet, but so lyrical and touching, this is poetry distilled to essence, holding in every line the implication of sonnet, song and wonder.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

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