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Open Poetry #24
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-02-07 12:32 PM



Petey

Angie was working the bar
With a back and forth dash
Like the guy at the circus
That spins plates atop sticks

Attending to everything
That needed attention

A smile and a nod, a drink and a check
A joke and a beer, a smile and a drink

Until, bubbling up through the clamor
Were small outbreaks of rancor

Rival camps were in friction
Alpha males, all abristle

A hard stare from Petey
Toward an overlarge moron
Ran taut as a wire
With a subliminal hum
Across the room, through the crowd
From eyeball to eyeball

The silent sound of horns crashing
Got Angies’ attention
So, she grabbed Peteys’ chin
And bent him to face her

“Look at me Petey”
“Into my eyes”
“There'll be no fighting!”
“You have to respect me”

“Why don’t you and your lady
Go enjoy the pool table?”

But the gaze of hard wire
Was once again stretched
From Billiard to Barstool
When, undersized Petey
Decided to settle it all

By dropping his jeans to his knees
And waggling his manhood

Proving to all
That he was a man
Of some stature


© Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2003-02-07 12:43 PM


ROTFL at the waggling imagery.
You are such a great story teller, I think you should write a movie script or play. Honestly, your character portrayals are fantastic.
"waggling his manhood" LOL

And angie wins the prize:

"With a back and forth dash
Like the guy at the circus
That spins plates atop sticks"

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (02-07-2003 12:44 AM).]

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

2 posted 2003-02-07 09:01 AM


Very descriptive...hahaha..in more ways than one! Great job!
Eric

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-02-07 09:53 AM


(chuckling) Well... some people just got prove themselves one way or another...
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2003-02-07 12:26 PM


lmao Ed love the way you weave a story great write but then they all are
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-02-07 12:34 PM




Man, old Petey knew how to get 'em, didn't he?????

Did you know you're a mess, Mr. Ed.....lol
.
.
Yeah, you are quite descriptive in your story-telling...
and we love it. I'll bet that's what you're doing out
there by the river all by yourself...you're writing a book...

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (02-07-2003 12:36 PM).]

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
6 posted 2003-02-07 12:40 PM


Awright, awright, I give up! I'll go over to my Private Library right now and add you to my favorites list.........

You have a good eye and a steady hand. Well done.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2003-02-07 03:21 PM



Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2003-02-07 03:28 PM


You always write in fine story-telling form, and today was no exception. I enjoyed the imagery--all of it! Plus, I have a BIG imagination! tehe

Warm valentine hugs,
EA

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