navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #24 » It's Not Okay!
Open Poetry #24
Post A Reply Post New Topic It's Not Okay! Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
BlueEyes
Member
since 2002-08-30
Posts 152
TX, USA

0 posted 2003-02-05 11:24 AM


It’s okay –
     She’s asleep
She’ll never know
     Of the secret we keep

It’s okay –
     Don’t be afraid
Don’t back out now
     On the plans we’ve made

Just come here
     And let’s do this thing
You take off your clothes
     And I’ll take off my ring….


Well, it’s NOT okay
     I wasn’t asleep
Now look at what you’ve done
     With your lies and deceit

It’s NOT okay
     Don’t try to hide
The secret is out
     No more foolish lies

It’s NOT okay
     My tears still sting
You’ve broken my heart
     And you can have my ring…

~~~ I know, I know - I shouldn't have given him back his ring, right? ~~

[This message has been edited by BlueEyes (02-05-2003 11:48 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Tera - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-02-05 11:27 AM


Ouch!!!!!!!!!!! But he did deserve that for cheating. Good poem.

Cold hands means a warm heart

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-02-05 11:32 AM


Whew, Tera..
As for whether you should have given him back his ring or not? You might should have kept it and pawned it or sold it to somebody, at least.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2003-02-05 11:44 AM


BlueEyes
Strong, well done, enjoyed

SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
4 posted 2003-02-05 11:46 AM


Good write. Should you have returned the ring?  I'd say yes, why hang onto unhappy memories.

I be me BUT who does me be?

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-02-05 01:04 PM


both sides of the story...this one hit home...hard
paladin
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930
Pensacola,Fl.
6 posted 2003-02-06 09:05 PM


My wedding ring is under the Atlantic ocean of a jetty near Jacksonville.I threw it as hard as I could.

paladin

....a knight without armor

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
7 posted 2003-02-06 09:11 PM


always strong when you see two sides of something, and you told it painfully well.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

carol
Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624
Florida USA
8 posted 2003-02-07 12:34 PM


you are right you should have kept the ring,Love the poem
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
9 posted 2003-02-08 12:48 PM



BlueEyes~
Wow...such an emotionally powerful write.
You've expressed these feelings well
and I felt the words as I read.
Nicely done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #24 » It's Not Okay!

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary