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Open Poetry #24
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2003-02-05 08:56 AM


the sting of winter’s bite
struck such a sense of fear
that even mercury,
the ever positive
refused to slide heavenwards
and remained rooted
to the bottom of its bulb
climb forsaken and
glory renounced

even the pond outside
appeared to be terrorised
forced into submission
by strong arctic winds
while the trees around
revealed their thin skeletons
covered by whiteness
of snowy dressings

that’s when a flying saucer came
and hit me on my face
thus had begun
the war of snowballs
and the score was
neighbour’s kid one : me zero

I stood snowballed
and in deep thought:
no winter can ever freeze
the rage of a seven year old
and no gloom can ever stale
the natural pluck of a child

I stood nodding
True.

© Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-02-05 08:59 AM



and then you rounded some ice
and threw, yes?

Sudhir!  so glad to have you home!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2003-02-05 09:21 AM


"I stood snowballed
and in deep thought:
no winter can ever freeze
the rage of a seven year old
and no gloom can ever stale
the natural pluck of a child

I stood nodding
True."


Ah Sudhir..this is wonderful!
The playfulness of children and the bite of winter.
Excellent...and much enjoyed.
So good to see you back.
~Hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-02-05 09:32 AM


ah... nice to read you again and I enjoyed this perspective. The beginning seems to set a mood, that is broken in a light hearted sort of way..seriously... nicely done..

now... neighbor kids are meant to be terrorized... unwritten rule..they aren't yours and annoying them is great sport. Always allow them to win a few rounds..but surprise them with your ability to plan and carry out massive counter attacks..that leave them laughing...


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2003-02-05 09:51 AM


Sudhir,
Glad to see you back. Well done, enjoyed the read.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2003-02-05 01:19 PM


even the pond outside
appeared to be terrorised
forced into submission
by strong arctic winds
**********************
Sheesh, do I ever understand that one!
LOL at this snowball episode.
Keep your guard up.

It's sad the world leaders and terrorists have something much more sinister in their arsenals than snowballs.


Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
6 posted 2003-02-05 01:36 PM



Ahh Sudhir, snowballs in your face...a must for every seven year old LOL

But beautiful it was, though I got stuck for three hours when I tried to feed my sheep.

Love your poem, as always

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

7 posted 2003-02-05 03:45 PM




One of the most linear poems I've seen from you...I started to think 'or maybe not' when I read the flying saucer line but it all made sense in the end hehehehe...

This is a strong piece of work m'friend..I'd cut out the last two lines though...re Duncan's poem 'Over Coffee' to find out why I think that...

K

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
8 posted 2003-02-18 04:23 PM


Thank you all so very much, my dear friends...

and yes, Kamla, I would think of dropping the last two lines too...

Regards,
sudhir

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2003-02-21 07:17 AM


Enjoyed...snowball fight...James
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2003-02-21 02:34 PM


Thank you muchly James...

regards,
sudhir

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
11 posted 2003-04-10 11:02 AM


enjoyed
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
12 posted 2003-04-14 05:08 AM


Thank you Vandana...

regards,
sudhir

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

13 posted 2003-04-14 09:13 PM


And many a snowball fight was had!
Recalls fond memories.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
14 posted 2003-04-22 07:29 AM


Thanks a lot, my friend...

regards,
sudhir

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