navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #24 » Over coffee
Open Poetry #24
Post A Reply Post New Topic Over coffee Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2003-02-04 10:01 PM



I noticed the date
on the front page
this morning,
at the waffle shop
downtown.

Last year,
half a block away,
I stared at the ceiling
and ached for another moment.

Thank you
for giving me
much more.

© Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
1 posted 2003-02-04 10:03 PM


nice read!  are you talking about a loss though or of something you have found?  either way, I enjoyed it - warm regards, Roniece
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
2 posted 2003-02-04 10:10 PM


Yes! There is a certain state of being in which you check the paper to be sure what day it is.....I like your little pictures.
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-02-04 10:18 PM



...damn

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2003-02-04 10:31 PM


you do capture a moment don't you
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
5 posted 2003-02-04 10:39 PM


I read a beautiful tribute. ThisDiamond
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
6 posted 2003-02-04 10:57 PM


I can picture you coming back to the coffee shop and just standing there for a moment before you realise what your doing, then walking on, sitting down, sipping your coffee and writing this.
Enjoyed

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
7 posted 2003-02-04 11:04 PM


I think you know how much this one resounded in me. Maybe some things aren’t meant to last forever, but are just beautiful for what they are, and the smile of the memories they bring back. Thank you for this.

You can never win or lose
If you don't
Run the race

Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
8 posted 2003-02-04 11:10 PM


Your words mark a time in place that brings back a memory that's worth remembering.

Nice one Dunc~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2003-02-04 11:19 PM




(sigh) Oh Duncan, this is lovely, sweet friend, I think you are the photographer of words, sweet friend, every tentative blink of an eye means so much more! (big hugggssssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2003-02-05 12:16 PM


What a beautiful way to say thanks for the memories to that very special woman.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2003-02-05 12:24 PM


ya make me mothy heart proud to be a poet.  

~~~~
Into the morning light
Followed by madness
Reach through the empty fight
Searching through sadness

Pictures and photographs
Memories and windows
Goodbyes and epitaphs
Heartbeats and hellos


Are you waiting for
Heart in hand
Woman and man
See me, where I stand I am ...
Heart ... Heart in hand.


Vertical Horizon




    

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (02-05-2003 12:25 AM).]

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
12 posted 2003-02-05 12:34 PM


Duncan,
You said a whole lot in these few words, friend...
I also read it as a tribute to someone very special......

Ethel  

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2003-02-05 02:44 AM


what a write
Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
14 posted 2003-02-05 07:55 AM


a "thank you"...and so much more---enjoyed!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

15 posted 2003-02-05 01:42 PM



Do you always intend
to skip a heart
in beat?

You do it so well.

BlueEyes
Member
since 2002-08-30
Posts 152
TX, USA
16 posted 2003-02-05 01:45 PM


wow.... really makes you think. This was beautiful...

BlueEyes

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

17 posted 2003-02-05 03:27 PM


Hey D...

I'm going to burst the praise-bubble a bit...

It is my esteemed opinion ~snicker~ that the poem would read so much better without the last stanza. It tells, rather than shows...the first two (wonderful) stanzas make for a poignant piece that leave the field for interpretation\response nicely open...

K

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

18 posted 2003-02-05 03:31 PM


going to agre with Severn. The first two are strength..and left on their own open the poem up for much. The last..I see as only needed if truly planned for use as a personal thank you.. or tribute.

I always enjoy Duncan... and the intent here defines whether the last whould stay or go. Only you know that.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #24 » Over coffee

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary