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Open Poetry #24
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-02-04 12:27 PM


He deserved to die
they'd said
as if they'd had the power
to pass such judgement

Pointing fingers in disgust
at drug dependency
The same fingers
pulling pills
from countless bottles
in the cabinet

A pill for pain
A pill for bliss
A pill for gas
A pill for pre
A pill for post
A pill for everything
except compassion
for hypocrites
that couldn't see the disease
had spread wider than they'd thought
Prescribed and bottled
above bathroom sink

(For Layne and Shannon and all before and after)
____________________________________________________

NOT a condonation of drug use just a little compassion for those who are trapped by them both illegally and legally. A little more compassion and a little less judgement for mistakes people make.

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (02-05-2003 09:49 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-02-04 12:28 PM


Very strong write. I liked it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2003-02-04 12:51 PM


Yes, compassion and understanding are in short supply.
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2003-02-04 12:54 PM


AMEN, Raph. This is so true. I've seen people who have no compassion
for anyone who is an illegal drug addict,
and say very harsh things about them. Then,
they take many prescription drugs that could
be done without.....not needing them for any
real medical disease or illness. Yes, this is
hypocritical to me, too....

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2003-02-04 02:35 AM


strong write!
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
5 posted 2003-02-04 07:02 AM


always sad when talent goes cause of drugs,
ive been battling advil addiction for years,
im not being cute, but its true, im addicted.
and for that blind melon guy, [edited by moderator] , i would have liked to cure him , but good.

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (02-05-2003 11:56 AM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
6 posted 2003-02-04 04:26 PM


Thank you Loner sweet of you to say

Kacy we should open a shop no?

Thank you Ethel it's quite sad to see

Thanks Dixie I try

Yeah mish Shannon's death hit hard especially since it was a relapse, an talented poet and yeah I admit a good looking guy

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2003-02-04 06:21 PM


hey there mister...big hugs...and yes, lots of understanding. More than i can say.
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

8 posted 2003-02-04 07:32 PM


'The same fingers
that pulled the pills
from countless bottles
in the cabinet'

In the end, most of us are addicted...to something.  Interesting write.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
9 posted 2003-02-04 07:48 PM


Thanks SEA and hugs back thanks for all the suport

Thatnks Duncan exactly the point wish more people realized it especially before they comment on others

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
10 posted 2003-02-05 07:17 AM


Amen!!!!!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2003-02-05 11:58 AM



Anyone with any kind of addiction
has my sympathy...

and my support in their struggle
to rid themselves of same.

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

12 posted 2003-02-05 03:14 PM


The world's an unfair place, and will always have hypocrisy...ain't it grand? I like this...

My suggestions? It you're doing a poem with no punctuation, it might be a good idea to break it up - and/or cut out the few initial capitals you have - they add a bit of extra bulk that isn't necessary I think...

K

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
13 posted 2003-02-05 03:28 PM


excellent...its meaning very clear

M

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
14 posted 2003-02-05 03:41 PM


Amen sandpiper

Then the handle Sunshine is truly fitting

Thanks Severn, thought the same but couldn't decide where to break it and still keep it cohesive, I've edited it hope it makes sense and thanks for the suggestions as always.

thanks Nakdthoughts!

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

15 posted 2003-02-05 04:20 PM


much better...much much better..

Re-entering...after reading again, actually I think you'd do better to attach the 'A pill for' repetitions to either the verse below, or the verse above...

K

[This message has been edited by Severn (02-05-2003 04:22 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
16 posted 2003-02-05 09:50 PM


A little better but seems bottom heavy, oh well I'll leave it at this for now, thanks for the insight Severn love when you stop by
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

17 posted 2003-02-05 10:32 PM


A little more compassion and a little less judgement for mistakes people make.
==============================

Amen.....poignant write poet sir...
well done.


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
18 posted 2003-02-05 11:48 PM


Thank you kindly Janet marie
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