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Open Poetry #24
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GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2003-02-03 10:30 PM



Pull my hair up look at the clock,
Slip into my black and somber gown.
My face is tight but temple furled in pain.
My eyes look steady ahead.

Smooth steps, familiar routine
I glide in and give a smile
Obviously forced,
Towards my family and my friends.

A quick cough and my hands
Retreat to my pocket
Where my nails dig through flesh
And the fist is never seen.

Well I’ve only been to eight of these
In fifteen years.
Well, eight from close family that is.
I know the routine.

Tears are hidden by my
Firm and sober face.
The sad thing is, its ironic
I’m still here…
I’m not sure if I can cry,
But I’ll walk on.


- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

[This message has been edited by GG (02-04-2003 12:34 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 GG - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2003-02-03 10:33 PM




(big hugggssssss) Oh Alyssa, I know this feeling ever so well, sweet friend, I feel sometimes I just can't make it on my own and I feel bedridden and need my grandmothers loving pep talk to get me going! (sigh) I send angel hugs of comfort out to you, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Alyssa, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-02-04 03:37 AM


yeah...I share in this with you
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2003-02-04 05:20 AM




Alyssa,

As per your critique box, I think this is your heart poured out. Glad to seeing you writing it. Descriptive and how I, myself, (nails biting flesh of hand, in pocket) would have behaved.

Not sure where I got the idea I had to conceal my pain....oh, yes...I remember, now.

Hugs and love to you, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
4 posted 2003-02-04 05:40 AM


Noah,
Yes we get used to those talks.. it can be so hard to let them go. Though with this specific one it was just the whole death scene.. again... that got to me.
Thanks for replying.

Dixie,
I'm hoping its the walking on that you'll share   Thanks for replying.

Pat,
Yea, I'm not too sure if its a shard of my heart, or my heart poured. But glass is a liquid y'know.
The nails and fist thing is something I used to do a bit too often, and though I developed strong hands, I also developed scars. So yea, I wrote reality.But as for the whole ironic thing, I'm surprised I actually posted this. Thanks for replying, Hugs and love to you

Its two forty AM now, think I'll lay down again
Always, Alyssa


- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

[This message has been edited by GG (02-04-2003 05:48 AM).]

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
5 posted 2003-02-04 06:11 AM




Alyssa,

I am glad you posted this for I believe many can relate to it. It helps me remember where I've been and how I've felt, or, perhaps had too much pain to feel at all; I believe, if possible it is better to feel, rather han waiting to explode and become the shards of glass rather than the pouring of it. Each in his own way and own time.

I hope you keep posting. For you and for us.... Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Henri Bardo
Junior Member
since 2002-10-15
Posts 11
State of suspended inanimate
6 posted 2003-02-04 07:43 AM


Sadly, this is a step in the too slow procession of the author's own burial, the removal of the spirit before a body's claimed. Inured by the seeming constance of death around her she turns to stone. What fear there is, hidden in a pocket, what pain and suffering, private. Effective
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
7 posted 2003-02-04 10:09 PM


Pat,
well I'm glad your glad! I think by writing I'm trying to avoid being numb from it, but then, when you put freezing rag on a back you feel like its burning... So, I don't know.
But I'll keep posting, this place is addicting and I love all you people.
Thanks for even the second reply! Take care, Hugs.
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
8 posted 2003-02-04 10:14 PM


Henri,
I think The authors gonna make it. She's got a Higher Power working with her. And the seeming death is more than seeming, its quite, quite real. Since six I've known amazing well what death was, and actualy from then until now (fifteen) have been to funerals of close family members.
So sure, some painful steps and too much fear exist. But I'm giving myself time, there seems to be plenty of it.
Thanks for the reply

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

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