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Open Poetry #24
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HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia

0 posted 2003-02-03 09:30 AM



Do My Words Explain

Feeling too sad lately
To even pick up my pen
Hoping to hear from you
Only wish I knew when

Wonder where you are
Promises  I sift through
You would catch up soon
This never came true

If I am being forgotten
How do words explain
Heart sinks into sorrow
Nothing eases pain

There were promises
Last time you spoke
About writing me soon
This must be a joke

The new day dawned
Yet I still toss and turn
My once forever friend
Will you ever return

Wonder had he lost
Communications key
Were my words in vain
Now I accept maybe

HopeĀ©2003

© Copyright 2003 HopeS - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2003-02-03 09:33 AM


HopeS
Excellent write, I would send this direct.

HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
2 posted 2003-02-03 09:37 AM


Thanks Seymour for your kind reply , yes I might send this , I was hoping to awaken his memory LOL
Hope

pjtalty
Member
since 2002-07-17
Posts 111
W.A., Australia
3 posted 2003-02-04 01:19 AM


There is a lyrical quality to this piece which, sensed with its poignant tone, its deceptively simple language and imagery, results in an evocative poem which filled this reader with the same kind of emotion which undoubtedly generated a fine poem.

Finally, I think you should team up with a musician/composer: with only minor revisions this would serve well as the lyrics of a blues ballad.

Patrick Talty

HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
4 posted 2003-02-04 02:47 AM


Thank you Patrick for your thoughtful reply , yes I have been told before that some of my work could be made into songs
Hope

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-02-04 02:51 AM


yeah...I understand
HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
6 posted 2003-02-04 03:23 AM


Thank you for understanding !!
Hope

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-02-04 11:24 AM


Hope, I agree with Seymour....send this poem to him....
How could it  not  help him to wake up?  

HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
8 posted 2003-02-04 11:30 AM


Thanks Ethel , yes I emailed it last night , I still have not heard , I think he must be offline , known him 7 years almost so something must be wrong , just hope I get answers
Hope

Lisann
Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350

9 posted 2003-02-04 02:15 PM


waiting for a response from a loved one is one of the most difficult things to do.  I myself am "waiting".  A "friend"  and I have had a lot of difficulties lately and I keep waiting for her to make the time for me....to work out our obstacles.....somehow she doesn't feel the need as much as I do.  It is times like this that make the waiting all the more difficult.  I understand the anguish here.
HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
10 posted 2003-02-04 10:33 PM


Thank you Lisann for your caring reply ,
I do hope you here soon , my luck changed today when I finally got the email I had been waiting for
Hope

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