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Open Poetry #24
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Cpat Hair
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0 posted 2003-01-29 10:56 AM


I watched her
walk passing time
Outlined against tangled limb
Bare,
Move with grace.

Caught in iris lenses

Slope of neck blending
To shoulder cross hatched
In glide of twig shadowed
Fingers

Forgotten lore
Bore leaf and moved me
To seek awakening flow
Of sweet sticky whispers
Left on notes of time
That they might cling
Before falling
Without resonance
Into reason

And the moon
Met the wind on half lit
Reveal
Shrinking pupils
Into night blind dream

Leaving illusive
The silhouette
Of touch

me,

pondering the tangle
of roots purchase
on stone


[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (01-29-2003 11:10 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Decaflame
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since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

1 posted 2003-01-29 11:05 AM



Cap'n...as "fey" happens to be one
of my most favorite words,
this caught my eye...

and the rest of it captured my attention.


Cpat Hair
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2 posted 2003-01-29 11:26 AM


bit abstract and not truly as easily read as others I post.... it perhaps is one that should have stayed hidden in the cellar...
I am not happy with it... but had to post it...or delete it and forget the thought....
the muse won again...


regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
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3 posted 2003-01-29 11:27 AM




Well, Decaflame said exactly what I was going to begin with...

I, also, love the word ~fey~ though have not seen it used lately, nor, used it in what seems forever..

I enjoy this poem; each time I read it it is deeper and deeper.

Couple lines I liked, this is one:

"and the moon met the wind on half lit"...

but, overall, I enjoy the little thinking phrases woven throughout...

I like this a lot and one to come back to, reading again....it reminds how complicated others can be...where I would fit in the thick of it if I were viewing a her, or ~a him~.....just watching the unfolding and revealing.
There are many specifics I'd like to quote...but will leave my reply as such.  Pat  




..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"
  

[This message has been edited by regards2you (01-29-2003 11:29 AM).]

Cpat Hair
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4 posted 2003-01-29 11:30 AM


Pat..thank you for the kind words... it is intended to have layers...and intended to be abstract... but I am not satisfied with it and not sure it deserves the kind things said... still.. I thank you for reading and the thoughtful reply

jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

5 posted 2003-01-29 11:31 AM


will print...read...reread...ponder...and be back......comment after first read?.....I love it!
Cpat Hair
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6 posted 2003-01-29 11:33 AM


thank you my friend...
garysgirl
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7 posted 2003-01-29 11:38 AM


Capt. Ron, I always enjoy reading your poetry,
and this is no exception.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Sunshine
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8 posted 2003-01-29 11:53 AM



Captain, the ones I am never happy with
seem to be the ones that garner the most
attention...

I'm glad this did NOT make it to file 13...

as "fey" is one of MY favorite words, too

Cpat Hair
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9 posted 2003-01-29 01:14 PM


Ethel.. thank you ma'am... kind of you to say.

Sunshine.. ( chuckling) oh file 13 has held a great many and it has room for more...
thank you for the read and the nice words.


Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
10 posted 2003-01-29 06:13 PM


..and 'fey' is also one of my favourite words!
I'm so pleased your muse won!
~Hugs & Grins~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

vandana
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11 posted 2003-01-29 06:58 PM


enjoyed
Martie
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12 posted 2003-01-29 07:10 PM


Ron--Fey is not one of my favorite words, but this poem is...I like it's allusive quality, like something understood from the corner of my eye and some of the phrasing is great.  Particularly:

To shoulder cross hatched
In glide of twig shadowed
Fingers

and:

Before falling
Without resonance
Into reason

then finally:

the tangle
of roots purchase
on stone

a great read...thank you!

Nightshade
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just out of reach
13 posted 2003-01-29 08:17 PM


Man-oh-man, I wish I could write such wonderful poetry. Excellent. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

14 posted 2003-01-29 08:54 PM


I've read this several times today.  Keep getting the image of a tree/woman moving against the sky.
Actually it's nice to read something from you again, that requires a bit more thought.  (Somehow, that doesn't sound the way I meant it...lol).  
I liked the repeated lines a lot!  Thought they worked well.  
Oh and I'm mostly ambivalent about the word 'fey'.  

passing shadows
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displaced
15 posted 2003-01-30 02:31 AM


description: perfect!
Nan
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16 posted 2003-01-30 07:25 AM


Abstract is OK with me - I never mind feeling the need to reread a poem - It just means there's more for me go see... I enjoyed the visage you penned here, Cap'n...
Sandpiper
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since 2002-06-15
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land of flora and fauna
17 posted 2003-01-30 07:47 AM


Forgotten lore
Bore leaf and moved me
To seek awakening flow
Of sweet sticky whispers
Left on notes of time
That they might cling
Before falling
Without resonance
Into reason

..a lovely scene conjured with these words--most intriguing write--enjoyed!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Mistletoe Angel
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18 posted 2003-01-31 08:46 PM




(smiles) I for one also applaud your usage of this wonderful word, I believe to use each word of language is truly a blessing, I always read books and that is how I extend my understanding of it all! (big hugggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
19 posted 2003-02-01 12:06 PM


Superb, Ron, a wonderful poem.

Corinne

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