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Open Poetry #24
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Amature2
Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 416


0 posted 2003-01-28 10:50 PM



Trying To, But

Trying to cover up the scars
But the wound still shows
Trying to show a smile
But the tears still flow
Trying to hold on
But loosing the grip
Trying to be strong
But the weakness over powers
Trying to, But


© Copyright 2003 Amature2 - All Rights Reserved
Jaime
Registered
Member
Posts 250

1 posted 2003-01-28 11:17 PM


I suppose there's always a 'but'...

Just be careful that it's not a crutch.    

It has a nice flow to it and I like the ending because it seems at times that the opposition is endless and tireless. You worded this simply with, "Trying to, But". Nicely done.

- Jaime


Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe.

[This message has been edited by Jaime (01-28-2003 11:19 PM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2003-01-28 11:52 PM


Been there done that, keep trying,
and before you know it, it will just seem
like a bad dream.  No buts...  

Be well~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2003-01-29 04:07 AM


trying is good, failing is worse, not trying again is unacceptable
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