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Open Poetry #24
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WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

0 posted 2003-01-28 09:06 PM



I'm not a crazed killer you know,
it's not like blood is pooling
on the floor of the closet
under last nights kill.

I mean,
you accuse me, with pointed blame
misplaced finger, pushing ever
down my throat, your useless
rhetoric about sanity, and vanity,
the lack of your reality.


   Where do I begin,
where do you leave off, the line
is so faded now, I feel encroached
upon, and on, and on, and you
    just go on.  

  Brand me okay,
place the hot iron upon my flesh
and mark me with your righteousness
scar me with your ever present
and unpleasant,
    characterizations of who,
   of what I am,
       of what I've done.
As if it's fun, to pick apart
the already useless heart
that beats only slightly
    as I try to catch my breath.

Will it take in fact my death
before forgiveness touches me.


WhiteRose

© Copyright 2003 Anne Thompson - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2003-01-28 09:35 PM


The anguish of a soul is never something to applaud...But I applaud your talent and courage to write the feeling so well.
All prayers to you. ThisDiamond

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
2 posted 2003-01-28 10:43 PM


the limits of criticism is interesting to conjecture, important for you not to brand yourself for another's pleasure of the 'critique'..that's what I get from your poem

[This message has been edited by ecrivan (01-28-2003 10:45 PM).]

carol
Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624
Florida USA
3 posted 2003-01-28 10:45 PM


I could feel your hurt as i read this. It took a lot of courage to write this. it was pretty

[This message has been edited by carol (01-28-2003 10:47 PM).]

Jaime
Registered
Member
Posts 250

4 posted 2003-01-28 11:12 PM


I really like how this feels like I'm listening to your conversation with this person. I like how it's got an edge to it, yet there's still pain in it so that it's not just some full-blown rant. (I can never seem to pull this effect off.) Kudos to you.

- Jaime  

Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-01-29 05:00 AM


wow...please take care of you...hugs and prayers
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