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Open Poetry #24
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Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2003-01-27 05:39 PM



Janice looks down the dismal tunnel
of her future, and wonders
is this necessary at thirty-nine,
but time has borne a thinning of linings
and brought with it health warnings.

Her surgeon knows it’s unwarranted.
He sharpens his scalpels,
flips a coin to pick Mozart or the Beatles.
His staff busies themselves with their tasks,
brushing away guilty crumbs
from paper gowns and hats;
it’s a living.

Across town,
Karen waits in the office,
thumbing through last April’s issue of Vogue;
and sighs. It’s hot, this room.
She's always too hot these days.
She uses the mag as a fan,;
counts the months since
her last cycle.

Hormones aren't recommended
at this time. Instead,
her doctor gives her a confusing list
of pills and cremes
to ease night sweats
and the blues –
everything from soy to vitamin E
to ingesting DHEA.

He spouts statistics
about The Change –
increased risks
for dementia,
cancer, heart disease
and diabetes. Too many
for her to remember.

She hides it from her husband;
feels diminished, somehow.
Her Mother won’t talk about it,
her friends deny they too
are in the middle of life.

Somewhere,
there is group of enlightened women -
meeting in a hall, online,
or someone's home.
In turn they speak –
giving reasons
to welcome the wise years.

© 2003 Corinne Bailey

[This message has been edited by Corinne (01-28-2003 10:01 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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1 posted 2003-01-27 05:47 PM


some changes are harder to acknowledge publicly than others.... some we can't hide without the tuck here or nip there and most of us..will never...

well written..and insightful... a gritty feel to it in ways that echoes a bit of resentment towrds it all..

Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
2 posted 2003-01-27 06:06 PM


Thanks, Ron. I'm attemping to tackle tough subjects - this one is something I didn't think I'd have to face for another six years. Seems it has no real age. I was shocked to read up on the subject (I'm a doctor-wannabe, I'll know everything about it before I'm through) - how it's painted as a scenario of gloom and doom, something to be "managed." A bunch of depressing *(#&.

Anyway, thanks for putting up with my, um, muse moods.

Corinne

Cpat Hair
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3 posted 2003-01-27 06:20 PM


"how it's painted as a scenario of gloom and doom, something to be "managed." "

Changes in life are always something to be managed and understood.. the physical effects things have on us are real and not in our minds..though they can also influence our minds and trick them into things...
how one copes with the process of aging and what it does to us physically is as varied as the number of people involved..

not un muse mood it seems....but a musing on life.

Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
4 posted 2003-01-28 10:09 AM


True words, Ron. It does anger me that it's been a silent passage for so long, something to hide from the world. Admitting it is akin to admitting age, God forbid women should do that these days!
Going through prematurely can cut years off off of one's life, or so I'm told. My doctor said it's like I just aged six years, overnight! Gee! Everyone wants to hear that! Thanks for the good news, Doc!

It depends on how one approaches it. A positive attitude, paying closer attention to one's health makes it easier to manage. It's the stigma of society that has made it so ugly.

Oh well, as you can see, I'm wrestling with it, emotionally. I'll come out on the positive side, given time to brood and be stubborn.

Thank you for being so kind. I realize men also go through a phase like this, although it gets much less attention than female variety. Our society lumps men into a phase where they dump their wives for younger versions and buy red sports cars...It's not fair to men, either.

Thanks for being a friend.

Cor

brian madden
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since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
5 posted 2003-01-28 03:49 PM


Corinne, first word that popped into my head when i read this was vivid... so vivid. as always your words amaze, challenge and delight.  

got hips like cinderella must be having a good shame talking sweet about nothing
cookie i think you're tame" The Pixies


garysgirl
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Florida, USA
6 posted 2003-01-28 04:32 PM


Yes, Corrine...I would imagine that this was a hard subject to write about....for many obvious reasons.......

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
7 posted 2003-01-28 06:01 PM


Corrine,

Interesting subject. It is all about a positive, self image. Usually, we have developed a sense of inner beauty by the early forties. Having intelligent, educated, enlightened people in our lives makes a big difference. They normally are much more interested in our minds, rather than our bodies. If we've had a half-way decent life we are quite successful at much!!!
  
The stats. you quoted do apply to many groups, not just this one.  I wasn't going to reply to this for I didn't have much to say.

But, my experience has shown it isn't such a hush-hush subject. I have seen multiple documentaries/television series on the subject....

There is so much help available it wasn't a problem or a big deal. I am not saying hot flashes aren't big deals. Particularly, in public, when it is extremely difficult not to rip every piece of clothing off your body and every layer of skin...Or, that you don't feel you are an oven, and would die to get out of your own body...but, short term hormone useage stops that immediately. With all life changes comes fear at first. Educating ourselves is the best thing we can do, keeping an open mind, until we read all the many pros and cons on the subject. And if we don't project how "awful" it is going to be. It isn't for many. Mothers didn't have what our society does now, with various hormone treatments, etc.; not only that they NEVER even talked about their periods.....let alone this....

The aging process can be the pits and frightening for we know we are getting that much closer to the end....that I think is where the real fear lies.

The fact this got little response says a lot... two men and one woman....which I found interesting...

Times have changed and we are lucky to be living in this day and age....

Hugs, Pat
          


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (01-28-2003 06:09 PM).]

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
8 posted 2003-01-28 06:03 PM


its hard to see some things as poetry and tough subjects can be one yuh this is different than shall i compare thee to a yadda yadda i like it
Moonlight Romeo
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Senior Member
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982
The heart of you
9 posted 2003-01-29 12:37 PM


Age has that way, of making us feel.  Then again, so does life.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2003-01-29 01:05 PM


Corinne, I don't know about where you are country-wise, but I don't have a problem discussing anything with anyone, even of the opposite sex about life's changes..and what use to be a horrible thought actually is a relief to me and others...Now I can go anywhere, plan anything and not have to worry about that part of my life interrupting my plans...although it comes with a bit of unwanted "warmth" ..it actually makes many women look and feel more beautiful than ever...more free to be themselves (Maybe where I live and the people I know are just more open..I do know my mother never talked about it  but she does now if I bring it up.)
M

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (01-29-2003 06:29 PM).]

Cpat Hair
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11 posted 2003-01-29 01:10 PM


(chuckling)...pardon me for intruding again... but I came back to read and found the comments... enlightening...

You know....this may get edited before I am done or deleted... and either is fine..so if you think you might be offended chances are you shuldn't read any further..
.......

.......

.......

gone yet? OK...

We as humans are sexual creatured..males and females with genitals that happen to not only provide us a means to reproduce but pleasure. The idea that a woman is less of a woman because she enters menopause or that she is no longer able to bear children is so barbaric in and of itself I am surprised so many women still buy into it. Think about it... procreation is only a part of our life...we are not solely put on this planet to keep women constantly pregnant and or for women to be constantly with swollen belly and child. Yet... women mourn the loss of menses and the ability to have children and men look on the fertility of youth with lustful eyes. How can we be so brainwashed into this? How can intellegent women still believe once they are in the change that no one will find them attractive or productive?

Beauty.... is in the person. Worth is in the heart and soul. productivity is the measurement of our actions and deeds.

Physical changes. Yep... well you know what... getting older isn't a thing we have much choice about and something we all face. Doing it with grace and acceptance is not for the faint of heart.. aches, hormone changes, increased health issues.... we are like the car you have been driving for 20 years....guess what... we wear out. Now...that does not mean the car doesn't have value and or that it is not still beautiful or that you wouldn't want to drive it.

SO.... for me...I would suggest we indeed learn to talk openly as we need to about change and about failure and about issues
if we continue to hide these things behind what "society" teaches us is proper and accepted...we do our own children and grandchildren a diservice by being a part of the problem..and by not making it easier for them to overcome and learn from the things we face.
hey..I made it through all that and didn't get as graphic as my first thoughts led me to...but I missed a part of the point as well.. Sex... and the way it and pleasure as well as it and love are not limited to the child bearing years...nor to being sexy....or atractive to the other gender. Plus...the loss of fear from unwanted pregnancy...
Menopause should indeed be a freedom to women who seem to shoulder the risks and the burden of pregnancy. To be able to be intimate when and where one should choose without those would seem to me an unshackling. Hey..I know, I am a man...and do not understand all women feel or think.or go through....so maybe I have no right to speak this way about what I will not experience.

OK... now I am off my soap box... ( I think)


[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (01-29-2003 01:27 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2003-01-29 01:42 PM


Corrine..I stand and applaud both YOU the writer of this enlightening piece, and Cpat Hair for his open male response.  Wonderfully written piece on a very natural subject..
one that many women do and have floated through...
and not 'perspired'..but 'glowed' or 'glistened' during.  
It's all in the outlook.
Love this and I'm keeping it!
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
13 posted 2003-01-29 01:49 PM


Beauty.... is in the person. Worth is in the heart and soul. productivity is the measurement of our actions and deeds.


love it..finally a man who knows the truth....

M

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2003-01-29 01:52 PM


Somewhere,
there is group of enlightened women -
meeting in a hall, online,
or someone's home.
In turn they speak –
giving reasons
to welcome the wise years.

~*~

Welcome, woman.

Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
15 posted 2003-01-29 01:59 PM


Ah, now see...

I've been trying to respond solely to a poet's poem BEFORE reading the comments...and then read the comments afterwards.

So now I'm back with a few thoughts to add...

First...I went through all of "this" at 48.  I, too, was shocked to learn that it can all start for some women as early as 30!  

You know what, though...

It's all past me, and I haven't fallen apart.  I feel younger, have more energy, and am no longer miserable with all of the associated byplays of a system having run it's natural course.  That we are fortunate to live in this day and age where we can have those organs removed that can turn cancerous is our blessing, not our curse.

My hat is off to you again, Corinne, for your ability to write on a subject that some still consider taboo, and a curtsey to the Captain for being well versed in the subject, and for his adding on some valuable advice.


scorpio
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since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
16 posted 2003-01-29 04:41 PM


This poem has opened a forum of discussion...something I image you wanted to do as well as do the write...let me totally disqualify myself here by saying I'm a male..now having said that I believe that many males in the medical field tend to arbitrarily downplay the concerns and feeling of women on this issue...there is a wide variance of opinion on the use of Hormone Replacement Therapy out there among the doctors which is adding to the problems...maybe it's over simplifying things but I believe it's time for women to individually and collectively to demand answers, solutions and a more active role concerning their medical treatment...and I would urge we males to stand with them to ensure the message gets heard..

believe in what your heart feels...

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
17 posted 2003-01-29 04:51 PM



I am impressed by the understanding of some of our male poets [well, at least the ones who have responded to this thread.]  Scorpio has a point, but we need to go one step farther in making sure our doctors do not bully us.  I believe women under 50, maybe some under 60, are much more prevalent in their thinking to demand answers from physicians today than it was in the past.  However, there are still a great number of women out there who believe that if the doctor says so, he must be right, and not give a second thought to getting a second opinion.

passing shadows
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displaced
18 posted 2003-01-30 03:09 AM


very powerful!
Mistletoe Angel
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19 posted 2003-01-30 01:00 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Corinne, I'm so sorry I'm late getting to this, I had the most wonderful Tuesday night ever this week when I went to see Shakira and had some great Spanish cuisine at Sevilla's! (sad sigh) Changes are inevitable, part of me is a determinist, part of me believes in free-will. But I do know one thing, causes exist, and so do the effects, and regardless of how difficult one can be, we should be willing to accept the effects and try and be sympathetic with others. I know this for one, for I have seen my sister going through growing pains, and sometimes my mom can be guilty of trying to embarrass here or joke with her so much so she's coddled and she just goes outside and lets the screen door slam, and I can understand her bottled-up anxiety as  think we should look through our own statuses. (sad sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, here are some extra special angel hugs, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Corinne, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
20 posted 2003-01-30 05:09 PM


Thank you all for your wonderful, insightful responses! I've thoroughly enjoyed reading each and every one of them. It is heartwarming and encouraging to see so many enlightened responses!

Ron - a special thank you to you!


Corinne


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