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Open Poetry #24
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regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California

0 posted 2003-01-27 11:23 AM





Warm her face,
        nestle her,

there in the
crook
    of your embrace.

Hold her,
     take this child
and
soffocate

hate.

With nature's healing
carefully,

caulk crevises
which leak

cold confusion,
         weeping.

Sear her,
to seal her fate.

Cheer her,

with

the heat of you,
     make her whole.

Spoon her full
     of your grace,

until sweet seeps
     into every part of her,
          and you both sip nectar

of your destiny.

You,
always in her heart

your place,
belongs to no other.

Shine your mind

upon
the sieve of her.

Seal her with
     your kiss of bliss,

though,

she is not ready
         to be the sky,
she'd rather tiptoe
     on the stars,

than,
     to be one.

And,

with your devotion,
    this child no more,
  small and weary,

a grown up beauty,
         before your eyes.

She'll dance romance
upon the clouds,
       and beckon you,
to learn to fly.

Join her in a
waltz of love
meet her in the
moonlight of magic
where all things
are possible
in fantasy.


Where there is
no sorrow,
    and, no tomorrow.

Make her ablaze
    with your desire,
to smolder
     a fragrant incense

of togetherness.
Soar love's adore.
Warm her,

into forevermore.
.
.
.
.

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

© Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

1 posted 2003-01-27 11:48 AM


Hold her,
     take this child
and
soffocate

hate.

With nature's healing
carefully,

caulk crevises
which leak

cold confusion,
         weeping.

It's taken me several reads to take in even part of this.  For now, I'll say that it's power is magnetic.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
2 posted 2003-01-27 11:56 AM




Duncan,

I appreciate your reading and responding. Really? I didn't view it as that indepth....but, then I don't see poetry as others do usually, anyway.  I do know you taking the time and effort means a lot to me.

Thank you so much, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2003-01-27 11:57 AM


Pat, I'm liking this new way you're writing. It's very good.......

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
4 posted 2003-01-27 12:08 PM




Ethel,

Thanks for responding. Is this that much different from what I write?
Usually try to vary topics.

Actually I don't agree with what is implied here...but, because it is fantasy, no holds barred, so to speak.

It is merely about a woman, who has been deeply wounded in childhood asking her one and only to heal her (real life, NOT, but, again, this is her fantasy, but it could happen, I suppose with true love) Th sieve of her, a simple reference to my star poem....God shining His light through the sieved soul, creating stars....she doesn't want to be one this time....wants to dance with her lover on them.....for ever, and ever and ever...smiling here, and now I must get ready to go to work, self-employed which allows a variance of time....but I sure can mess up a day, reading poetry...what a great way, though, huh...hope you are feeling better...
Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2003-01-27 04:35 PM


this is a beautiful lesson in how a child should be cared for and raised..if I read you correctly which I must agree with you..I usually am wrong..but I liked the suffocating hate especially

hugs
M

Auguste
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
6 posted 2003-01-27 04:40 PM


I'm wrong a lot, LOL, but I do really like this one, Pat.

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
7 posted 2003-01-27 04:44 PM



~M~

Thanks for replying. I believe this can be read in many ways. Your way seems as right as any but it kinda evolved into a romantic setting....
whereby IF, (happened to my twin sister) one who has been deeply hurt connects with a true love, that love can have a great healing power and then "they" dance in a fantasy, etc..... Thanks, Hugs to you.....
it was not my intention to write something difficult to figure out....
this simply evolved and not one of my favorites for I don't have any original phrases to speak of...which I try to write...
Initially I had started to write something quit differently using the color purple in relationship to ego but ended up far from it, with this poem. Glad you took the time....

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
8 posted 2003-01-27 05:19 PM




Michael,

Hope you see this message. You replied at same time I was answering Maureen.
I just tried to call up your new poem to your son and it won't come up.
The other new one right above your does.

I don't know the problem with my username (?)...this AM I couldn't post a new poem or post any replies....
for about 45 minutes...and don't know why...

If you don't have a message on your poem, from me, that is why. I went down the printer part and could read your poem and love it and hopefully the problem will right itself without me doing another troubleshooting session....this happens quite regularly now....ugh!!! I hope it does not get to the point of me not being able to use this site. I have MSN and no idea where the prob. comes from...
from PIP or MSN...gritting teeth here.


Thanks for replying to this poem.
Glad you liked it....Hugs to you, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
9 posted 2003-01-27 07:47 PM


regards2you - you have written this with much depth, my words can't express what I felt when reading this...

BC

paladin
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930
Pensacola,Fl.
10 posted 2003-01-27 07:51 PM


The opposite of love is not hate.It is indifferance.

paladin

....a knight without armor

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
11 posted 2003-01-27 09:06 PM


i took this as a love poem from a mother to her child, so i'm kind of sorry i read your
your own intent when written, but i still find this beutiful in sentiment, regardless

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
12 posted 2003-01-28 09:22 AM


Pat,
This one made me cry... its beautiful.
I'm gonna content myself saying you wrote this just for me. It seems so sometimes.
Out of words.. but this is beautiful.
Love and hugs,
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
13 posted 2003-01-28 09:29 AM


Pat, I always find your poetry fascinating and the way I read it and understand it is not always the way you intended it to be. However, in my mind, that's what makes you such a great poetress.

This said to me that a child should be nurtured, loved, protected and taught to have love in her heart for all. And even when 'grown up' a child is not always ready to fly off on their own.

And I just love these words:

"Warm her face,
        nestle her,
there in the
crook
    of your embrace.
Hold her,
     take this child
and
soffocate
hate...."

This is so special and ˆ am printing it out to keep.  Huggles, Marti

Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
14 posted 2003-01-28 09:35 AM


"though,

she is not ready
         to be the sky,
she'd rather tiptoe
     on the stars,

than,
     to be one."

Oh WOW!!  I love this...
A keeper for my library!  Sure is!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
15 posted 2003-01-28 09:44 AM


I forgot to add it to my library!
Have a good day.
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
16 posted 2003-01-28 10:20 AM


fantastically woven...I must have a copy, please!?

As I read, a line would grab me as exquisite, then another, and another, too much WOW here, there are phrases that grip and thrill.

Lovely!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
17 posted 2003-01-28 10:27 AM


Pat,
"Join her in a
waltz of love
meet her in the
moonlight of magic
where all things
are possible
in fantasy."
Like this allot.


Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
18 posted 2003-01-29 05:38 AM


Enjoyed the emotions of this piece--well done!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

19 posted 2003-01-29 07:44 AM


this is a lovely surreal write...ethereal love ... you've created some wonderful images and analogies in this...
Well done poetess Pat

Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky.
We fell them down and turn them into paper that
we may record our emptiness.

K.G.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
20 posted 2003-01-29 11:49 AM



Thank you all for reading. When I read this poem this morning it seems very choppy to me. I lack the skills, yet, to bring ideas together, at least in this one, and have a smooth flow...throughout. I actually didn't have this poem in mind when I began writing...

Am touched that you've found various phrases enjoyable. Means much you took time to read and reply.

Hugs to all, thanking you, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
21 posted 2003-01-30 12:37 PM


my this ones worth reading many more times. touches me close to home this does..
dhicks03
Member
since 2002-12-26
Posts 267
Missouri,USA
22 posted 2003-01-30 12:51 PM


Pat, I re-read this three or four times, and I came away really liking it more and more!
Great write


Dennis

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
23 posted 2003-01-31 03:26 PM




(smiles) Yay!!! (tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Patricia, this is gorgeous, sweet friend, this made me think of every little girl in the world and hw I wish for every girl to have a loving mom and dad and for her to smile and soar to the stars and follow their dreams! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Patricia, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (01-31-2003 03:27 PM).]

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
24 posted 2003-01-31 11:18 PM


Pat, I also use MSN but have none of the problems you mentioned.  You might consider sending an e-mail to Ron, he knows so much more about this stuff than anyone I've ever seen.  
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
25 posted 2003-01-31 11:24 PM


Pat,
Well now...if this is choppy, chop on! I loved this write immensely. It carries so much sentiment and emotion for me. I particularly love the line:

_________________________
she is not ready
         to be the sky,
she'd rather tiptoe
     on the stars,

than,
     to be one.
_________________________


Thank you for sharing this piece.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
26 posted 2003-02-01 12:08 PM


Michael,

Ever since I've mentioned it here I've not had any more problems...that day previous to my message to you here,I had to use the troubleshooting message box, two separate problems and Ron e-mailed me saying everything was fine on PIP's end and didn't know anything about Webtv...but, I told him WebTV is only used for the ID, it is all MSNTV now...but, like I said, mysteriously it straightened out and no more problems...which had plagued me on and off for couple months, remember before, when I had E-mailed you, similar problem? Anyway, so far so good.  thanks so much..Hugs, Pat

Larry,

Thanks so much for reading and replying. I appreciate your comments and your time.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

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