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Open Poetry #24
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2003-01-27 01:42 AM



You moseyed on in so sure and tall
with your hands dug in your pockets
staring across the room as you found a place against the wall.
With a twinkle in your eye, both subtle and daring
as if you knew my wildest dreams
with all good intentions to send me head over heals.

I didn't give it much thought
because I wasn't looking for you
or anyone else to turn my head
I simply didn't have the time of day.
But as sure as the sunlight slipped into twilight
the music started to play.
and I sensed you could see right through me.

I happened upon a passing glance over the rim of my glass
and it was all I could do to shy away and lower my eyes
you gaze penetrating across the room
had me smoothing my skirt and biting my lip
clearly, I didn't know what to make of you.

And to this day
I'm not sure who moved the other to come a little closer
simultaneously stepping sideways,
as we danced our first dance to easy steps,
beneath the strobe of flashing lights
we conveniently found our rhythm that played our tune.

I don't remember the song
but I remember the crucial pivot
being the decisive dip, twirl, and whirl
and how we both learned to bend
without stepping on each others toes.

The subtle distinction and imminent change
that came about when I wasn't looking
defines the moment that will last a lifetime
something no one can take away from me,
not even you.

~*~

© Copyright 2003 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
visitvenus
Member
since 2002-12-30
Posts 101
PA, USA
1 posted 2003-01-27 04:40 AM


This is such a beautiful expression of that first glance, first meeting, first dance...

Wonderful write!

-Venus

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
2 posted 2003-01-27 06:03 AM


BluesSerenade, this is a wonderful memory and expression, with words you have moved the reader and opened their imagination to the time of your rememberance.
Thanks for sharing, great write.

Sincerely
Rick

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
3 posted 2003-01-27 06:17 AM


Intense feelings--quite beautiful!!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
4 posted 2003-01-27 06:46 AM


Sounds REAL good!!
    I think I will find a spot at the back of the line
    for my twirl.    

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
5 posted 2003-01-27 07:00 AM


love those first glances, when eyes meet, in
sync, and the music plays in the background.
sometimes, tho, that first glance, should have also been the last glance
nicely put together, as usual

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2003-01-27 08:03 AM


wonderfully told...and indeed a pleasure to read.

somthings no one can take from us.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

7 posted 2003-01-27 08:28 AM


'I didn't give it much thought
because I wasn't looking for you
or anyone else to turn my head
I simply didn't have the time of day.
But as sure as the sunlight slipped into twilight
the music started to play.
and I sensed you could see right through me.'

Damn, don't ya love that feeling??  

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
8 posted 2003-01-27 07:56 PM


one of your best Lori...good writing here
hugsss always
M

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
9 posted 2003-01-27 08:22 PM


BluesSerenade - you do write them nice, kinda bluesy, doncha know...

BC

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
10 posted 2003-01-27 08:29 PM




"You mosied on in so sure......."

That will do it....the so sure.....

enjoyed this a great deal. You can definitely capture a moment, the ones that do last a life time in memory....

and, not all are painful...smiling here....

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2003-01-27 08:47 PM


Blues---This can be read on more than one level...for life is like a dance.  Enjoyed!
seven_conscious
Junior Member
since 2003-01-27
Posts 33

12 posted 2003-01-27 09:15 PM


"had me smoothing my skirt and biting my lip"

i love this line!  it screams anticipation : )

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
13 posted 2003-01-28 11:09 PM


Appreciate your knowing reply...
Thank you Venus~

Rick~ I was reliving the moment I guess you would say.
Thanks, I'm glad it moved you.

Sandpiper~ Intense, perhaps~
Thank you for the beautiful.

Craig~ That's sweet of you to say so, but there is no line,
trust me on this one!  hugs you~

Michele~ Woulda, coulda, shoulda been.
Don't I know it.
Thank you for reading girl friend~

Cpat~ That's right, our memories last forever,
more precious than a polished stone.
Thank you always~

Duncan~ One of the nicest feelings by far.
Thank you sir~

Maureen~ Do ever wonder if your best is good enough?
Love you gal~

Now you've gone and made me blush a deeper shade of blue.
Thanks for always being so nice BC~

Pat~ Leave it to you to pick up on that, that 'so sure' look lured me in before I knew what hit me.  
Hugs backatcha~

Martie~ Isn't  that the truth, life moves pretty slowly at times
and then picks up when we least expect it.  
Thanks for reading.

Seven c~  I should keep it down eh!  Thanks and welcome to the page!

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