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SimplyGold
Senior Member

since 2002-07-10

Posts 1453

0 posted 2003-01-26 03:19 PM

To Hear "I love you"

He stood in the sand
  The white crystals touching his toes warm
The morning was young as the
  sun teased his eyes
With deep breaths of air he
  let the ocean fill his lungs
Like smelling salts he let
  the roar of the waves jar him

He thought of her
  the way her voice blew into his ears
  the way her eyes could see his betrayal
How could he have let himself bring
  about her leaving
Letting himself go and giving into
  his wandering lust he lost it all,
  he lost her

Excuses made for men
  He bought into them and let
  the devil toy with his selfishness
He learned the hard way
  and what was once the prize
  became the price

He could feel the warmth between
  his toes begin to feel like fire
Brought back to the present he
  stepped into the foam coolness of
  the morning tide
How he longed for a second chance
  To feel the rhythm of one's first love
  To experience the unconditional giving
    of innocense and trust
To feel like a man for the first time
  Proud to be chaste among the bretheren
But there are no second chances...

He took a deep breath held out his hands
   and stepped into the surf
First one, then two, three and
  leaped head first into the cool
  plecenta of Mother Earth
Hoping to baptize himself and ask for
  forgiveness
The water swelled over his head,
  the tide pulled him in as he struggled to
  reach the light just beyond the water's skin
The air in his lungs was bursting for release
  as the weight of the ocean held him down
Just one more chance, just one more try,
  just one more day...
But the ocean was strong as he
  felt the hold on his legs deny release

He closed his eyes and turned from the
  glare of the sun
No, he thought let not this mistake be the last
  He grabbed the weeds that tugged at his ankle
and with all the strength born of
  anger at himself wrenched free

The ocean was not worthy of his sacrifice
  Love did not deserve this cowardice act
He would bear the consequences of his folly
  and wear his shame
all for another chance to hear,
  "I love you"

[This message has been edited by SimplyGold (01-26-2003 06:54 PM).]

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2003-01-26 03:34 PM

Intense. Well done. ThisDiamond

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

2 posted 2003-01-26 03:55 PM

Whew, SG...this was really one of those that grabs hold of you and makes you read faster to see what was going to happen. I'll bet you could write a novel.
Oh, and I liked the ending, too. Nothing is worth giving up on love. I found that out from falling in love with my Love I have now.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

3 posted 2003-01-26 06:01 PM

No, he thought let not this mistake be the last
  He grabbed the weeds that tugged at his ankle
and with all the strength born of
  anger at himself wrenched free

Whew.  Had me holding my breath!

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

4 posted 2003-01-26 06:15 PM

I agree with Ethel, Electra....
I'd be willing to bet that you could write a novel.
This is excellent poetry

~ many loving chipmunk hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2003-01-26 06:36 PM

(big hugggsssssssss) This is so very touching, sweet friend, I know this feeling ever so much as I want to hold a girls hand for the first time and love her with all heart and not forsake her! (sad sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, this made me tear up, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Electra, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

SimplyGold
Senior Member

since 2002-07-10

Posts 1453

6 posted 2003-01-26 07:03 PM

Diamond,
I've been in a story mode lately. Thanks for
the reality check. :smile

Garygirl,
A novel, gee, imagine how hard that would be. One would need a lot of stamina. Thank you for the perk.

Duncan,
Tell me since this was from a "chic" point of view was it too sappy? I'm glad I had you going. Thanks

Madame C,
God, it's good to see you here. Where have you been, I and I'm sure many, many others have missed you terribly. I need to see your muse, p l e a s e .

Noah,
How was the concert? Did you go yet? Thanks for reading my work.

SimplyGold

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