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Open Poetry #24
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victoria_ann
New Member
since 2003-01-26
Posts 3
england, manchester

0 posted 2003-01-26 12:52 PM



Who Knows Where Tomorrow Goes

As the trees dance and the moon whistles      
Light fades, birds sing no more                      
With starlight whispers and sunlight kisses          
The winds splash, the fires fall                  

When time stands still and the water flow ceases  
A frozen bliss, entwined as one                          
The portrayal lingers, is here forever after  
Yet warmer than was ever known before

As the sun jumps and the leaves talk
Light engulfs, stars shine no more
With soft touches and dark movements
The flames push, the clouds curl

When time moves on and the seed becomes tree
A melted woe, separated as two
The memory lingers, is here forever after
Yet colder than was ever known before
this is my first poem ive wrote in ages so honest opinions are welcome!!



© Copyright 2003 victoria_ann - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-01-26 12:54 PM



Victoria, Welcome to Passions!  If this is your first poem "in ages" I would love to peek into your archives...

Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-01-26 12:56 PM


I like it...the warm and cold is good...Welcome to Passions! I know you will like it here with us.
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-01-26 01:00 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!
Very beautiful first post!
I look forward to seeing more of your work.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2003-01-26 01:10 PM


This is lovely!!! Welcome to the family here. I hope you enjoy your stay. Please feel free to browse around and you'll find you've made a lot of new friends.
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2003-01-26 01:42 PM






  Enjoyed your first post!! Chris

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
6 posted 2003-01-26 01:46 PM


ah beautiful entrance you´ve made here.....welcome to passions

Charisma

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-01-26 02:00 PM


Hello Victoria Ann,

WELCOME  TO  PASSIONS  IN  POETRY

I really enjoyed reading your first post. It's very good.
I look forward to reading more of your work, so I hope you like it here.
This is really a good place to be amongst this great big family of friends.




~Ethel...a.k.a.garysgirl~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2003-01-26 06:27 PM




(smiles) Oh Victoria, this is precious, sweet friend, I hope you certainly do post some of your past poetry as I would love to see you then and now as this new piece is filled with poetic blood, this is a wonderful comeback debut, I love it! Welcome to Passions, sweet Victoria, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Victoria, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
9 posted 2003-01-26 06:41 PM


Welcome to passions. Beuatiful poem.

(¨`·.·´¨) (¨`·.·´¨)
  ·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´
     *`·.¸.·´*
    Love Always
       Kellie

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
10 posted 2003-01-26 07:20 PM


beautifully melancholy, just how i like them
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
11 posted 2003-01-26 07:22 PM


believe in what your heart feels...

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
12 posted 2003-01-26 07:48 PM


hello victoria, what a spectacular first post. wow.

With starlight whispers and sunlight kisses          
The winds splash, the fires fall

welcome to passions, this really does become a home to all that come here. full of the most lovely people you'll ever meet.
lots of love, gemma xxxxxxxx                  

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
13 posted 2003-01-26 08:02 PM


Here's my honest opinion:

Write more-more-more! This is an excellent piece, with maturity far beyond 21 years and a felicity with phrasing and imagery that would make any writer proud.

I'll look forward to reading anything you choose to post here.

Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA
14 posted 2003-01-26 09:16 PM


I like your style. You are able to paint with your words without devices such as rhyme. I don't always find people can do that. It often feels flat without wordplay, but you don't need it.

"With soft touches and dark movements
The flames push, the clouds curl"

I like those lines.

"The memory lingers, is here forever after
Yet colder than was ever known before"

And those. Welcome.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
15 posted 2003-01-27 12:04 PM


Victoria_ann, I really enjoyed your first post and hope to read many more to come, you have much to offer this group of friends, hopefully we can all share together.
Welcome to Passions, I hope you visit often, with your talent of pen.

Sincerely
Rick
  

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
16 posted 2003-01-27 12:13 PM


well keep the fountain of inspiration flowing...Passions has a good variety of poetry and welcome


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
17 posted 2003-01-27 01:27 AM


Please keep writing! This is a wonderful opening. I enjoyed this:

" As the trees dance and the moon whistles      
Light fades, birds sing no more"

Welcome to Passions!

                      

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
18 posted 2003-01-27 02:19 AM


I enjoyed your take on the changing weather and the course that life takes.

So many good thoughts here.

Welcome Victoria Ann~

Windspirit
Junior Member
since 2003-01-26
Posts 14
New York, U.S.A.
19 posted 2003-01-27 05:49 AM


What a wonderful rendition of that which happens around us, that which we sometimes take for granted. Welcome to Passions. You truly are where you belong.

victoria_ann
New Member
since 2003-01-26
Posts 3
england, manchester
20 posted 2003-01-27 03:19 PM


thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

i am afraid the only other writings i have were completed in school and thus i am unable to locate them!!

i will however, be writing more, especially now with all the wonderful encouragment i have recieved, i feel very welcome, once again thank you all!!!

i am so glad you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing, i was a bit reluctant to post my work at first!

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