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Passions in Poetry

Message in a Bottle

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Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


0 posted 01-25-2003 12:05 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie


Message in a Bottle


There was so much magic
in the water
as the sun turned down
and left all its silver fishes
shimmering like a diamond necklace
across the lake.

Soft muted moss swayed
with a lapping caress
against the rock where
I sat in contemplation.

I saw a bottle floating
where the water turned to waste
and muck like swamp goo,
it gently hit a rock in rhythm
and chimed with such delight
I imagined its contents,
some cheap wine and stolen kisses
with the exposed midriff of love
on the naked open grass
and this bottle
maybe in a brown sack passed,
and the sweet taste lingering
on soft open kisses
of two drunk on passion.

I looked closer
hoping to glimpse a piece of paper
nestled there for me to find,
something that said…
I have searched forever for you
just to find you here
too late in this faded time
to kiss you,
but love sighs if you listen
to the caress of air that stirs
around the star draped sky,
and you will find me there
lost and hungry for your taste.

Such interesting stories in the depth
of shallow mellow drifting clutter
of a lake in a city.
An orange plastic bowling pin,
next to a flip flop
next to matted fish line
next to a Styrofoam cup
and a coke can,
a story for each object
left, neglectful or blown
like a plastic bag across time
to lodge in exclamation
of the things that make us human.

I closed my eyes and listened
to the sand shifting
and the sweet chime of my bottle
where a story grew,
and the radiant colored dream
burst and fell around me
like brown wings

and for some reason I felt so sad.

----4-00
© Copyright 2003 Martie Odell-Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 01-25-2003 12:07 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


How is it that we work so hard
to look past the muck
to see the beauty...
CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 02-14-2000
Posts 700
USA


2 posted 01-25-2003 12:09 PM       View Profile for CMGrimm   Email CMGrimm   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CMGrimm

Let me be the first to say...i love it.


"I imagined its contents,
some cheap wine and stolen kisses
with the exposed midriff of love
on the naked open grass
and this bottle
maybe in a brown sack passed,
and the sweet taste lingering
on soft open kisses
of two drunk on passion."

I loved it....
Thanks for a Great Read..
CHris

Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions.  - ANON.


zenny
Member
since 11-24-2002
Posts 378
Belgium


3 posted 01-25-2003 12:13 PM       View Profile for zenny   Email zenny   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit zenny's Home Page   View IP for zenny

Lovely write martie

Each line held on to me that tight, I just had to stay reading, wanting to know what the next words would be
Enjoyed it

hugs, kelly

The greatest thing u'll ever learn
is just to love
and be loved
in return

*hugs* Kelly.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 10-01-2002
Posts 4192
California


4 posted 01-25-2003 12:18 PM       View Profile for regards2you   Email regards2you   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for regards2you



Each line addictive, just had to read
another....great write, enjoyed this much.

Hugs, Pat  



..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (01-25-2003 12:19 PM).]

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


5 posted 01-25-2003 12:24 PM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

Martie, I love for you to let us into your thoughts. I know I've already told you this, but I love the way you can tell about them.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


6 posted 01-25-2003 12:40 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

I was right there with you.. I could smell the water and the sun in the air, and I could almost .. perhaps faintly hear the tinkling of the glass bottle against the rock. AWESOME WRITE!!  If this is what I get everytime I come back for a surprise visit I am definately coming back more often. Keep it up sweetie.. perhaps soon I will find my muse.

Remember me with a smile on your face, or please don't remember me at all.

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 12-08-2001
Posts 1228
Austin, Tx


7 posted 01-25-2003 01:01 PM       View Profile for D.Lester Young   Email D.Lester Young   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit D.Lester Young's Home Page   View IP for D.Lester Young

Some good reflecting in this poem that realy makes you think.  It takes a special person to take trash and may you think of it in the way you did here, very good imagery.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


8 posted 01-25-2003 02:46 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

you are indeed a very special person Martie. I enjoyed this write
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 02-22-2002
Posts 9456
Michigan, USA


9 posted 01-25-2003 02:49 PM       View Profile for ThisDiamond   Email ThisDiamond   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ThisDiamond's Home Page   View IP for ThisDiamond

Excellent display of your creativity, and the view of the world through your eyes.
Wonderful write. ThisDiamond
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 12-17-2000
Posts 34089
City of Roses


10 posted 01-25-2003 02:55 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(big hugggssssssss) It can be so sad because you realize you're only looking through coke bottle glasses and everything is on the otherside when the fairytale seems so real to you! (sad sigh) This is very touching, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 07-11-2000
Posts 11011
highways, & byways, for now


11 posted 01-25-2003 04:34 PM       View Profile for Bill Charles   Email Bill Charles   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bill Charles

Martie - another bottle beckons in the sand. I sent one, perhaps you found it...

BC
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 07-29-2000
Posts 9235
Victoria Australia


12 posted 01-25-2003 04:46 PM       View Profile for Kethry   Email Kethry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kethry

Martie,
Awesome write. I love it when you find riches in the rubble.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown


Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


13 posted 09-22-2004 07:40 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

Ah, and this one...that was so clear and clean that it made me want to go there and see it myself....the second poem of yours I encountered, and one that rocked me so hard I remember the specific poem after almost two years....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


14 posted 10-28-2007 11:32 AM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

lovely

ARCTIC WIND
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