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Open Poetry #24
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Cement River
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Cement River |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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Cement River No trout ever danced here in a flash across the rippled moss, or rose to mayflies under sprays of dappling aspens; trout, nor catfish. Even carp would leave this place, grow legs and walk it if they could, or dying, flush out to the ocean, foul the beach and send the tourists home with ugly stories. Straight, deep, cut hard to speed the floods, it grabs the latent flow and flings it to the sea, the houses safe, waits echo dry for weeks of months until another blast, gray foam awash in plastic cups. A man could climb down here, walk dry to Yorba Linda; wave to the bums in overpasses, stomp the algae dust, chuck shopping carts into the razor channel. Even drown. Ed Ratledge AKA Ratleader |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Wonderful and enjoyed. Some people can write about most anything and I've a suspicion you might be one of them. Descriptive and you must have had the experience to know the algae scrunching (?) sorry don't remember your exact words.... Well written. Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...great imagery in this. You write well of this place that I know. In fact, I think I might have a poem about a similar place somewhere. I must look it up. |
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D.Lester Young Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219Austin, Tx |
Very good imagery here, I can picture your cement river in my mind and its razor channel. It would be so nice it they could support a gentle flow. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 Love this! Thank you for posting this look at a city 'river' that inhibits, rather than fosters life. And yet, perhaps in some ways it fosters life, though of a different sort?I see those upside down shopping carts here too, in the flood plane/channel control areas that meander through the Denver area. For now, these channels also carry some snow and rain runoff. But with the drought? Who knows, perhaps only refuse next year. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Aye, I know this river well enough. As a working environmentalist I have it as one of my concerns, although a minor one. And my workplace touches the levee. The observations that became this poem were made once when an odor was coming off the channel, and I was sent (assigned, yet!) to find out what was going on. Turned out to be that algae dust rotting in the sun -- yecch! ------------------------------ |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you definately have your work cut out for you...good write, it made me think |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'A man could climb down here, walk dry to Yorba Linda; wave to the bums in overpasses, stomp the algae dust, chuck shopping carts into the razor channel. Even drown.' When I was a kid we used to follow the dry, sometimes underground paths that ran for several miles through our neighborhood. Wasn't really any danger of drowning but it felt like a daring thing to do anyway. Reminded me of that. Impressive descriptive piece. Liked how you wrote the (absent) fish into it. And I like the ease with which the images come. Thanks for your response to my earlier post. Was much appreciated. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Well done! I recall seeing the canals in California...what excellent description. ThisDiamond |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
The brevity of my experience in southern California protected me from encountering this concrete place... I'm glad that we have environmentalists working to make our world a better place.... It's nice to see some of them are poets as well....  |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
You have talent, a lot..  K |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Severn..... a Clavell fan of serious intent, I take it? Thanks to you and to Nan, and Diamond and oh-golly-everybody. I've gone a long time without a serious audience, and it sure feels good to hear people who know the subject react to what I've written. ------------------------------ |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well I'm a Shogun fan from way back - but do enlighten me to the drift of your reference? When I find quality freeverse I tend to get excited lol...and I always mean what I say in a reply... keep it coming ok?? K |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Until the rains come, the cement rivers are ever dry... just waiting for the hills to give up the wealth that comes to them |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Heh-- just did, then noticed somebody'd posted on this one. Fair warning though, "The Man Who..." is not a deadly serious bit of writing, as I'm sure you'll see... Severn's a double agent in "Noble House." Many moons ago I got to choose s pseudonym for a public service job, and I picked "Struan"..... ------------------------------ |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Ahhh...penny drops - never read that one...Severn keeps cropping up all over the place...sniff...it's not unique, it was meant to be unique - then I found out it was a bloody river in England...haha.. I was thinking of critiquing The Man Who actually...read it before. Haven't gotten round to it yet... K |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
The army corp of engineers love cement rivers...the rest of us know better...well written, Ed.. believe in what your heart feels... |
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Thisman Junior Member
since 2003-01-21
Posts 19 |
I think I can actually smell it; Very real. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Yes, Ed, you do make what you write about seem real...and I do think you good make fiction seem real!?!  "Love makes the world go around" |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
.....wish I could write fiction! Alas, I am too poor with people to be any good at that. To do fiction you've got to show people relating in all kinds of ways, and that's my weakest point of all. ------------------------------ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Ratleader You palette knife a strong painting, enjoyed. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
And of course my skateboarding son, who didn't like my hard attitude in this poem, put me to shame by adding a verse: Cheery amid the synthetic ugliness, a contented dweller of the concrete forest, a single lad finds simple joy weaving along one side of progress' dry stagnant flow, Imagining the blue sea. They'll do it to you every time! |
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