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Passions in Poetry

A Tone of Voice

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A Tone of Voice
Member
since 07-18-2001
Posts 294


0 posted 01-25-2003 02:27 AM       View Profile for A Tone of Voice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for A Tone of Voice

I hate those days
when the excitement ebbs
And the return
is black spiders weaving webs
Odd it is I feel this way, after all
The last days are freedom identical
Identical to the first
In retrospect
I should savor the moments
Blissfully aware as they dissipate,
Try as I might, I can't
Itís astringent sweet
This after taste
As I smile and contemplate
I can't forget what is to come
Loneliness, such a silly fool I am
When heís here I pretend
  When heís gone
Iím forced to acknowledge
Heíll never leave her
Iím much too smart
To live a lie
Yet I am
Is it choice or chance
Or is it neither
Perhaps itís illusion
Designed by a goddessís hand
A tale of watercolors
Created with a brush and
A touch of madnessÖ

[This message has been edited by A Tone of Voice (01-25-2003 11:24 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 A Tone of Voice - All Rights Reserved
A Tone of Voice
Member
since 07-18-2001
Posts 294


1 posted 01-25-2003 02:55 AM       View Profile for A Tone of Voice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Tone of Voice

maybe there is no need to explain, but since I'm relatively new here, I thought I might, this is just writing, not actually my story~! *Smile*
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 01-25-2003 07:52 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

It does seem like prose, but there is rhyme in it.  Perhaps line breaks would help the readers?
A Tone of Voice
Member
since 07-18-2001
Posts 294


3 posted 01-25-2003 11:40 AM       View Profile for A Tone of Voice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Tone of Voice

Thank you Sunshine, I tried to rearrange the format, but it wouldn't take it and then I also tried to delete it so I could re-do it, but alas it's still here.....*S*

I appreciate your suggestion....
Salty
Senior Member
since 11-23-2002
Posts 687
Texas


4 posted 01-25-2003 12:56 PM       View Profile for Salty   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Salty

Oh these places we find ourselves sometimes...weaving our own web of deceit.

Trying to a play the character and part...without expecting to recieve an oscar.

A very intriguing write this is.


~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

regards2you
Member Elite
since 10-01-2002
Posts 4192
California


5 posted 01-25-2003 01:08 PM       View Profile for regards2you   Email regards2you   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for regards2you




I thought this very well written, even without line breaks it reads well and flows all the way through, and I liked the content and meaning. You brought it across nicely.

Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

garysgirl
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Member Seraphic
since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


6 posted 01-25-2003 01:19 PM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

ATOV, I like the way you write poetry...as if you're looking in someone's being and seeing the way they're feeling. You're very good...

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

A Tone of Voice
Member
since 07-18-2001
Posts 294


7 posted 01-25-2003 01:23 PM       View Profile for A Tone of Voice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Tone of Voice

Salty, sometimes we find ourselves in a place it would be better for us "not" to be, but we just can't help ourselves it seems~!

Thank you mucho, mucho, mucho~!


~Atov


regards2you,


Such encouraging words, I do appreciate them very much, thank you!

~Atov
passing shadows
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since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


8 posted 01-25-2003 02:44 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

do I know what you mean here!!! WOW!
A Tone of Voice
Member
since 07-18-2001
Posts 294


9 posted 01-25-2003 02:52 PM       View Profile for A Tone of Voice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Tone of Voice

GG, thank you, when I write I explore all the possibilities my experience or that of someone else. I take it as an extreme compliment when the reader believes it's my experience or I've conveyed it so it seems as if it is.  *S*
A Tone of Voice
Member
since 07-18-2001
Posts 294


10 posted 01-25-2003 02:54 PM       View Profile for A Tone of Voice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Tone of Voice

passing shadows, that's what I enjoy the most, the mutal feelings and emotions we can share, even though sometimes it's not our experience we are able to feel the other's point of view....thank you very much for reading and commenting~! *S*
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 12-17-2000
Posts 34089
City of Roses


11 posted 01-25-2003 03:07 PM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(sigh) I just love this, sweet friend, this made me smile as I love watercolor art and to paint your own heart with your fingers is truly a blessing and a one of a kind! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we al love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and liht always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


12 posted 01-25-2003 03:09 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Looks like it "took" just right...
very good!
A Tone of Voice
Member
since 07-18-2001
Posts 294


13 posted 01-25-2003 03:14 PM       View Profile for A Tone of Voice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Tone of Voice

Noah, thank you for sharing that uplifting voice of yours, it's nice to hear nice.....*S*


Sunshine, again thank you for your input, I sincerely do appreciate it~!

(hugz)

Atov~
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 02-22-2002
Posts 9456
Michigan, USA


14 posted 01-25-2003 10:09 PM       View Profile for ThisDiamond   Email ThisDiamond   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ThisDiamond's Home Page   View IP for ThisDiamond

This piece smacked with many messages, and I particularly enjoyed the free form of it...real life. Well done. ThisDiamond
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 11-19-2002
Posts 7522
Ohio


15 posted 01-25-2003 10:16 PM       View Profile for inkedgoddess   Email inkedgoddess   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for inkedgoddess

it's just all so crazy, isnt it, when its
not yours to have
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 07-11-2000
Posts 11011
highways, & byways, for now


16 posted 01-25-2003 10:19 PM       View Profile for Bill Charles   Email Bill Charles   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bill Charles

A Tone of Voice - to be only a write it's very well written. Nice work>

BC
Eromyna
Member
since 11-29-2002
Posts 310
Pheonix, AZ, USA


17 posted 01-25-2003 10:22 PM       View Profile for Eromyna   Email Eromyna   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eromyna

The last line really made that for me. Nice write.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


18 posted 01-25-2003 10:36 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Excellent write!
Much enjoyed.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 09-10-2003
Posts 1315


19 posted 12-19-2004 09:49 AM       View Profile for EvocativeVerse2   Email EvocativeVerse2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EvocativeVerse2

Love IT! There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It is a wonderful piece and I wish I'd written it. Bravo!

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

 
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