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Open Poetry #24
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Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2003-01-21 11:37 PM




Not really the Surprised

Naiveté can catch one, tripping
feet on cobblestone
or brick

it’s in me to be clumsy at best,
but when verbally attacked
I lose whatever
aplomb        that got me to where
the attack lay,
just waiting…

I know my weaknesses,
but still, even I am surprised
at the why


so I had been reading of an excursion
by a tourist
who had gone to a city
where the lady weeps
if you listen
and if you don’t listen
she glistens
and dazzles
and takes you in

but

he listened

and counted her tears,
almost felt her warmth,
was deterred by the cold
and offended,
innately, that he could not
contribute


he brought me back to my time
there, in the lady’s arms,
in the city of feathered masques,
where all can be beaded charm,
or charms in beaded lead of chain,

and I, in my grand naiveté,
watched the watchers,
perhaps with mouth
slightly smiling,
eager to say with my eyes,
dance for me

and did not anticipate
greed of need,
the bustled hustle,

that another, a mime in dance,
lived for the dollar thrown,
and gave to me
the nail of rail,

and I blushed the shame
of my unknowing,
for my unthrowing!

Then not a block away,
what I had anticipated,
stood there,
on the balconies
of gay array

and I knew not,
who was the needier…


where the poet walked,
I had walked,
only he saw more,
and now the flushed blush of my
own fallacies

still linger.



[This message has been edited by Sunshine (01-22-2003 08:44 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2003-01-22 12:35 PM


Karilea--I have not been there, but I understand.  This is touched with emtional power.  
dhicks03
Member
since 2002-12-26
Posts 267
Missouri,USA
2 posted 2003-01-22 01:10 AM


Wow, this was awesome!!
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2003-01-22 08:47 AM


This is excellent..

I like these lines best...
quote:

where the lady weeps
if you listen
and if you don’t listen
she glistens
and dazzles
and takes you in


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2003-01-22 09:07 AM


Love this Karilea!
I have never been there, but would love to go.
Although I too would probably see it in a different light
than what one has come to expect..in the arms of this lady.
Good write!
~Hugs & Smiles~

kram
Junior Member
since 2003-01-17
Posts 20
texas
5 posted 2003-01-22 09:22 AM


what wonderful timing and spacing.  I know I can learn much from someone with over 30,000 posts. Thanks
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2003-01-22 10:03 AM


ah... different eyes see different things..and you saw what your heart would have be... the lady and the city both graced in this case.

enjoyed this my friend...and I do hope you always see the sparkle and beauty in such places..

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2003-01-22 10:12 AM


Sunshine,
A dance I've seen before. Beautifully written.

Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
8 posted 2003-01-22 11:41 AM


Cool poem... Thanks for sharing.

I wish to become a great poet some day, but it will only come in time. Til then, I shall write my poems, and wait.

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
9 posted 2003-01-22 11:49 AM


I do not know how you write so
in tune with your sensation
But think we all should have a ball
and offer veneration
I'm locked in rhyme; it's all the time
I spend in subjugation
but here I vow I'll find somehow
to sing with your elation

Wonderful nuance and subtlety to your writing. KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2003-01-22 11:55 AM


he brought me back to my time
there, in the lady’s arms,
in the city of feathered masques,
where all can be beaded charm,
or charms in beaded lead of chain,


and I, in my grand naiveté,
watched the watchers,
perhaps with mouth
slightly smiling,
eager to say with my eyes,
dance for me
=============================


fallacy or fantasy?
Only a poet can find both the glitter and the litter and still turn it into gold.

mardi-gras magic


youve captured the essence of the city well poetss of the sun..you and Capt have offered us the perspectives of seeing the lady thru poets eyes.
Better than any ole travel agent  *L*

I was reborn on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay
Virginia hasn't yet faded away
I keep thinking tomorrow is coming today
So I am endlessly waiting

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
11 posted 2003-01-22 11:57 AM


Karilea, most times each person understands in their own way and is needy in their own way, too....
I really enjoyed reading this..which is nothing uunusual with my reading your poems...I always enjoy them..."loveya:

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

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