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Open Poetry #24
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Doc
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Doc |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Bare bricked shadows Hid the brilliance outside And allowed the still red eyes Of many to adjust their heal More slowly Thirsty I entered Ordered one cold and stared At the foam “Doc” was two stools down talking to the maid behind who plastered half smile boredom with white nods on his black grin I sipped Enjoying the cool analgesic feel On my empty stomach Only to realize he was asking me Questions With a grinned lie, “Sorry, I was nursing my head.” “What did you say?” He laughed white toothed And shook his head. “No, you not nursing any head.” “You seeing them things.” “You know,” he said, “I been out and bought these things I got in this bag for one of my neighbors girls.” “She all into that Goth stuff, but nothing bad you know, just troubled she is.” “They all got troubles.” As he sipped from the half empty “You and me, we got them things.” “you know there was a guy in here ta other day with a duck.” I grinned, not knowing where next this was to bend. “Lady here asked what the guy was drinking and he answered draw me a beer.” She then asked him” what about the duck?” “You know what the duck said?” He asked me in serious tone. “Quack” I answered. He grinned again, “See,” he repeated, “You and me we got them things” "Dey call you Doc too?" [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (01-20-2003 10:46 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
LOL...you got dem thangs...you do, you do... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
HUGE SMILE. So you did find a little bit of serenity then!  Oh-this-one- is MINE. mine mine mine mine mine *library* I love it.  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I am not so good at understanding dialects and slang, but this I enjoyed. I hope all is well, your poems seemed to have turned a corner. *S M |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
You n' me? We got dem things. Sheesh, wadda way to put it. Ed |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
hehe, funny/sad, but mostly funny Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
ROFLMAO... (the shine...y'got THE SHINE...)  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
If you're still there, and Doc's still there, just tell him, we call you Captain. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hey Ron..this is fantastic...love the character you put into just a few words...so much enjoyed! |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
I drew particular parallel in this as I've borne the nickname "Doc" from childhood. Enjoyed your write. KJ Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
wonderful portrait of both 'characters' *big smile*.....gosh...makes me want to write instead of working so dang hard...have been seriously uninspired of late...sigh |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Cpat Hair....I know I'm nuts....now I'm beginning to wonder about others....it bothers me a tad knowing exactly how this conversation could have gone....or did go...this make too much sense to me to feel good about myself... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Way cool write Ron! Thanks for the chuckles. ~Hugs~ ~Time has cast a spell on you, |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
LOL @ serenity...the SHINE, indeed.  Ron~ I absolutely LOVE this...an excellent write for sure. Extremely well done, my friend. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Chuckling with this one, Ron. Good characterization, very believable. Cor |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Oh Ron, this is lovely, sweet friend, this made me smile and I love the character development and stage craft you custom design yourself! (big hugggsssssss) I love this, sweet friend, we all love you so uch! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this made me smile, soooo cute. I'll get there yet.... |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
smiling, me thinks that was just what the Doctor ordered.....delightful~! Atov~~ |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
He waddled in a rather foul of mood Ordered a tail shaker from the waitress And posed the question “Quack?” “Doc?” “Ya, I tended to his needs.” Said the keeper of secrets behind the bar “Him and some other black bagger” “They had some thing going on” “Say, aren’t you that Duck?” The patron bobbed his beak Immersing it in his brew as acknowledgement “So, what happened to the chick?” “Talk about a full plate!” “Legs… thighs… breasts.” “A six piece meal if ever there was.” “Quack!” “Doc!” “Aww… sorry to hear about that.” “He’s always had an insatiable appetite.” “Well, bottoms up!” “I got things to do.” “Quack?” “Doc?” “Maybe so.” “We’ll see how things go.” ----- Don't ask me, because I just don't know. |
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