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Open Poetry #24
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-01-19 12:09 PM


From the ruins of another senseless day
the pull of melancholy, the pull of shadows bleak
the chains of this reality, have always left me weak

Upon the naked shoreline, I wait for her there
As waves of her wash over, and carry me to sea
where everywhere she takes me is where I want to be

In the sparkled wonder, of a starlit sky
In the arms of angels and the gaze of timeless eyes

Anastasia of the oceans blue...

*****A rare rhyming poem for me, just thought I'd give it another try. Though I'm not fond of this and it doesn't do justice to PIP I posted it anyway. Inspired by one of Billy Corgan's(Smashing Pumpkins) many brilliant titles Porcelina of the vast oceans, this poem is meant as an homage to both PIP as a thanks for inspiring me to write again(Thus the name Anastasia which means rebirth), and to Billy Corgan who I think is a brilliant lyricist*****

© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2003-01-19 12:12 PM


it's beautiful, and the sentiments sweet. aside from that love the timeless eyes....
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2003-01-19 12:14 PM


Upon the naked shoreline, I wait for her there
As waves of her wash over, and carry me to sea
where everywhere she takes me is where I want to be

===================================

your rhymes...however rare...are divine...
this is lovely...in its imagery, cadence and its sincere intentions.
very well done poet sir...you do both MR Corgan and the forums justice.


I was reborn on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay
Virginia hasn't yet faded away
I keep thinking tomorrow is coming today
So I am endlessly waiting

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2003-01-19 04:42 AM


awesome! You should try more of these!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2003-01-19 05:42 AM



Doggone but if we aren't glad
you are here, too...

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
5 posted 2003-01-19 08:08 AM



nice raphaeli,

your rhyme is sublime
a virginal first,
shot from the heart,
its feel - unrehearsed

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2003-01-19 08:14 AM


Aenimal
No matter the form, you write well.

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2003-01-19 09:56 AM


However you write it, it comes out nicely.
   Good morning, word artist.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

8 posted 2003-01-19 12:47 PM


From the ruins of another senseless day
the pull of melancholy, the pull of shadows bleak
the chains of this reality, have always left me weak

I'm not much for rhyme either but I do like this.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

9 posted 2003-01-19 01:53 PM


Anything that comes from the heart is lovely, Raph, and this is certainly that!
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2003-01-19 01:58 PM


Beautiful!
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
11 posted 2003-01-19 02:12 PM


Raph,  superbly done,  simply splendiforous.
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
12 posted 2003-01-19 02:19 PM




BRAVO!!! (STANDING OVATION) This is marvelous, I absolutely admire your thoughts of this wonderful poetic haven, it truly is a rebirth of beauty, an Anastasia as you will, and Billy Corgan I agree is one of the more talented songwriters of our generation, both with the Pumpkins and Zwan. (smiles) God Bless You, sweet friend, this piece does do justice, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Raphael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
13 posted 2003-01-19 08:22 PM


Thanks SEA nice to see you again

Thanks Janet that means a lot to me but I think i'll stick to free verse more

Thanks Dixie from time to time I'll give it a go

Thanks sunshine that's sweet

Thanks Mish nice rhymes

Thanks Seymour I appreciate it

Kacy good evening and thanks as always for the kind words

Thank you Duncan appreciate that

Denise and so are your words, lovely that is

Martie thanks!!

Magnus i can honestly say I've never been told that anything I've written or done is
splendiforous. lol Thanks great word

Thanks Noah and yeah i forgot to mention Zwan, honestly..

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