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Open Poetry #24
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2003-01-17 07:26 PM


Friday’s Rain

he said
good bye
and I
watched him
leave from
the kitchen
while tears
danced on
the window


"It is like looking for a blizzard in a glass snowball. Unless you shake it up not one flake will fly."


© Copyright 2003 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
Souls Shadow
Junior Member
since 2003-01-17
Posts 29

1 posted 2003-01-17 07:34 PM


but were they happy tears? or sad.......could be a mixture of relief that he left, tinged with heartache that he really did leave....leaves one thinking
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2003-01-17 08:57 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Helen, this is so beautifully bittersweet, sweet friend, I know these tears that are honeysuckle and hemlock mixed together and I still cry missing my Joanna but will never forget the love she used to have for me! (big hugggsssssss) I send angel hugs out to you, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Helen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
3 posted 2003-01-17 09:21 PM


enjoyed
S Arthur Grey
Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719
woven by a poet's loom
4 posted 2003-01-18 12:55 PM


You do the small "picture" poem so well.
And this, with the window pane between the two of you, bearing the emotion . . .
I think my need for a rhyme sound bite here would have added "pane" as the last word, or perhaps you just wanted to suggest the "pain", which is the way I read it.
I like the way you write.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-01-18 02:02 AM



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