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Open Poetry #24
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-01-17 11:04 AM



With every perceived success
And every rumored happiness
Enjoyed by others

It gnaws

Within every new pain
In flesh or bone
In heart or soul

It claws

And every time a tooth
Cracks and crumbles
Or a bit of life
Is coughed up, thickly

It burns

But not so much
That he would change

Anything

© Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-01-17 01:52 PM


With every perceived success
And every rumored happiness
Enjoyed by others

It gnaws

Within every new pain
In flesh or bone
In heart or soul

It claws
=======================

I read your others of this series late last night...am enjoying your creative perspective as well as your gift of succinct impact. A unique inspire you have taken on here, clever and well done poet sir.

It's over long before her fall from grace, she's never been this far from safe.
Trying to see where it all began, she'll never be the same again.

Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA
2 posted 2003-01-17 04:05 PM



Just the itch
that can be scratched
without changing
the shirt.

Well done, sir.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2003-01-17 04:20 PM


Envy? Mixed with so many strains of the others, it cannot be easily described or contained as one "vice" in this poem.

Wow, wranx.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2003-01-17 04:58 PM


Glad you see no need to change anything; no need to envy anyone else's pathway.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2003-01-17 08:49 PM


I wish I could write like YOU! I wish I had your patient understanding...I wish I had a shack! I wish I WERE a yeti! I wish...





loving this m'yeti...


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
6 posted 2003-01-18 02:35 PM


Agreed with K what more could I say, except for the yeti part
winston
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 204
NW of Eden
7 posted 2003-01-18 02:48 PM


A magnificently executed poem that merits reading and rereading. Thanks.

"am a tourist not a terrorist, don't shoot, cause we are all on a journey to God" Michak

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

8 posted 2003-01-18 05:16 PM


Ok, back to the series.  I'm seeing these as a collection on an after hours coffee house wall.  
Karen, you really want a shack??  lol

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