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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2003-01-16 06:50 PM

Sketch out lengths of chalk,
a hopskotch churchyard stone
clutched in your right hand.

Hand-me-down existence
stalls before the grid.
Enclosed paths to take.

Toss the stone away.
When you reach the other side
pick it up again.

Small strain as you touch.
All the numbers start to melt
with you, in the rain.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

1 posted 2003-01-16 07:33 PM

I love the imagery especially the last verse that drives the stake thru. great post

raph

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2003-01-16 08:16 PM

Excellent write with great imagery Mikey.
Loved the last stanza especially.
~Hugs~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me~

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

3 posted 2003-01-16 08:42 PM

Interesting little lines you shoved in there that I missed the first two reads. The third read has me just saying this is deeper than I thought,
at first. Can't remember the one line especially to quote it. Maybe I'll go back to see.

I liked. Thanks, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

4 posted 2003-01-16 09:20 PM

Gee whiz....your writing always amazes me. Enjoyed this. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....

-Emily Dickinson

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-01-16 09:29 PM

Mike, I have no idea what to say. I just want you to know that I did read it. I know that I'm really dense about some poetry.

By the way, I read it three times, too.....

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

6 posted 2003-01-17 11:48 AM

Thanks, everyone. This was brought about by some inspired discussion on christian's awesome "lunchboxes to razorblades" poem. I have to read this one a few times, myself.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2003-01-18 05:09 AM

yes, very deep

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

8 posted 2003-01-18 08:57 AM

Love the way you chalked up another brain buster. Those chalk lines have fuzzy edges after a while, but somehow never disappear; always attempting to make you stay within someone else's pre-ordained lines.
I try never to stay long between those lines, preferring to sketch new boundaries of my own choosing.
Vincent showed me how to do that.

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

9 posted 2003-01-19 11:02 AM

as always enjoys the visual imagery your words impart..and a Happy 2003.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

10 posted 2003-01-20 03:00 PM

Thank you.

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