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Open Poetry #24
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This Strange Guy
| Open Poetry #24 |
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This Strange Guy |
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quik Member
since 2002-11-27
Posts 91Dinwiddie,Virginia |
Green overalls,covered in oil Never seen before But all of sudden he is there I keep walking never turning me head But i look up ahead and its a dead end What do i do I look around and see this crack Me a slender fitted girl about ye high Fits through it Safe at last But i turn and his is right there He gots to be magic I start walking He walks faster I hear him gaining on me But dare not to turn and look I'm so terrified I start running I hear his footsteps behind me So scared i trip I started crawling on the hard gray concrete Scratching my knees Blood running constantly But i'm not worried about it Suddenly... out of nowwhere somebody picks me up Out of the bed I was only dreaming My dad picked me up from my bed because he heard me screaming He said "its ok honey, everything is alright" Everything is fine" I said "ok daddy" He put me back in bed Before he step out I noticed something Something very Unusual He had the same green overalls covered with oil No!!!! it couldnt be But it was The next day he left a note I was to never see him....Again |
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| © Copyright 2003 Antonio Duran Weary - All Rights Reserved | |||
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enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
Whoa, talk about deep....that ending threw me for a loop.....amazing how dreams happen like that isn't it? Hugs Nature has a funny way of breaking that which will not bend....Jewell |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Antonio, this is sad for the character you are writing about. Very shocking to her, I'm sure...... "Love makes the world go around" |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well since you're trying so hard to be a good poet, I suggest you work on your spelling and grammar. I've compared that to Leda and the Swan - your spelling and grammar is simply exceptional there...why the difference here do you think?? K [This message has been edited by Severn (01-14-2003 06:15 PM).] |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
A nice poem, though I too noticed the significant difference in your grammar between this and other posts. To become a good poet, one must be consistent in the presentation of the poem. Work on your grammar, and you will do much better. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
..and I await a reply to my email!  |
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