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Open Poetry #24
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bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2003-01-14 12:43 PM


It's a slow flame
eating letters, memories,
memories of letters,
her voice -- soft stones
escaping a glass jar.

Air rushes in, cold wind,
wet fingers of rain
to hold conversation
in an open window,
at the corner of a frame.

A flame throughout windows,
those blue TV squares
gellid in their half-hues,
solemn in their laughter.
It's ridiculous,

those empty spaces
filled with slow light.
These crafted pages
curling in coals.
Sailing away.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (01-14-2003 12:45 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Miah
Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062
Pennsylvania
1 posted 2003-01-14 01:18 PM


Wonderful write.  I especially liked the opening.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2003-01-14 02:28 PM


it is the empty spaces
filled with slow light.....

Mikey... one of those images and lines I wish I had thought of and written..it is timeless....

you do impress me...constantly..

enchantingvamp
Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214
Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas!
3 posted 2003-01-14 02:51 PM


Simply adored the last verse.

Nature has a funny way of breaking that which will not bend....Jewell

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
4 posted 2003-01-14 03:00 PM


Mike, as always, I enjoyed reading..

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2003-01-14 03:31 PM


"those empty spaces
filled with slow light."


Wonderfully written Mikey!
Love this one.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2003-01-14 03:52 PM


It's a slow flame
eating letters, memories,
memories of letters,
her voice -- soft stones
escaping a glass jar.

It's the fading...
Damn Mike, I felt this completely.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
7 posted 2003-01-14 08:27 PM


bsquirrel - great imagery in this, nice write...

BC

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
8 posted 2003-01-14 08:31 PM




Enjoyed this a great deal and reflect what the others have said. I liked the opening and ending, especially.


Thanks, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
9 posted 2003-01-14 09:22 PM


Air rushes in, cold wind,
wet fingers of rain
to hold conversation
in an open window,
at the corner of a frame.


Mikey - just amazing choice of words expertly woven together! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
10 posted 2003-01-14 10:36 PM




(big hugggssssssss) It feels so strange to see light crawl like a panther behind the corner waiting to make he timing and stalk its prey and before you know it it is so silent the battalions are bottled up inside you but all you feel is nerve! (sigh) This is powerfully eerie, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2003-01-15 03:13 AM


you have a way with words and thoughts that I could never hold as mine, so I'm glad you share yours
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
12 posted 2003-01-15 10:41 AM


Nice imagery here, Mike - A good write..
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

13 posted 2003-01-15 11:53 AM


Thanks everyone. I found some old writings on my computer back from when a long relationship ended. I had forgotten what her voice sounded like, and only had a vague recollection of what she looked like. After rereading the words on my computer, it all came rushing back, which is good, in a way.
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
14 posted 2003-01-15 06:14 PM


"These crafted pages
curling in coals.
Sailing away."

this touched me... it's like letting go
always a cool read

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
15 posted 2003-01-15 07:53 PM


images past,beautiful and haunting at the same time
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