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Open Poetry #24
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I Am Spilled Out
| Open Poetry #24 |
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I Am Spilled Out |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
I am spilled out, at your base level, exquisite pooling, my edge to yours. My deplete of arrogance and pride, waiting, to be quenched by your serene humility. Neither, wet with naivety, youth's defiance spent. Will we bleed into one another, or, separate, oil and water, you, yet repelling, and, I, perhaps, having lost too much saltiness, to enjoy this potential union of us. I am spilled out at your base level, would you like a taste test, first? . . . ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
regards2you Sounds like a good idea. |
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enchantingvamp Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas! |
ok i totally loved this piece, keep em coming! |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
absolutely loved your take on this one. Very well done!! ~Salty In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Sy, Thanks for replying. Yes, it is always a good idea. enchantingvamp, Glad you loved this. Thanks for replying. Salty, Glad you absolutely loved my take on this. The last line doesn't quite set well with me, alas, sometimes my bizarre sense of humor gets it the way of "good taste", so to speak..smiling here.... and, thank you.  Warmest regards to all of you. Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (01-13-2003 07:52 PM).] |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
interesting write... and leaves the reader wondering exactly what you mean by base... enjoyed... |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Pat, I like your sense of humor, (which I don't think is "bizarre", by the way).  "Love makes the world go around" |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, What I meant is the very essence of the person....maybe had I said that it wouldn't sound so, so, ...well,...wonder if I could still change it... but, even "at the level of your essence" could still conote a sexual sense which I wasn't going for... in the taste line......Hmmmmmm????? thanks for input...Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
pat, could be that base also means you have lowered yourself from a spiritual place to the baser understandings of another...nothing at all wrong with how it is written, just a curiosity on my part. As for the potential sexual take on the poem...I think it adds a bit to the overall in that it can be taken several ways and in no way is offensive...at least to my eyes. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Oh Patricia, I too don't think this is bizarre, passion is a natural human emotion and it is supposed to feel unique and ever so elusive of its true meaning and you write of it so wonderfully with your hearts interpretation! (big hugggssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Patricia, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ron, Am so glad for you taking the time to comment like this. I appreciate it. I need to think about .."baser understandings of another" in relation to coming from a higher spiritual place, which I am not certain why you thought I was coming from there...well, yes I am....base/baser...Oh, I see...your thought pattern...or, better put the definition of base/baser... Maybe it starts with "I am spilled out" which to me means [I am open, fully, before you], He knows who I am...mature, past pride and arrogance, etc, as is he...like, this is who I am meeting him, basically at the same level... which I had hoped would show with the "pooling, my edge to yours" Bleed into one another, meaning compatability... It IS meant to be sexual in the "union of us", but not crude in the tasting part....meaning were I to write a sexual poem I wouldn't use words quite that simple... if I lost too much saltiness... I may not be much fun (smiling, meaning if I had too difficult a life, I may not be able to have a fulfilling relationship and perhaps, should be tasted for the saltiness or lack of....) I don't see you as saying there is anything wrong. You have caused me to think! Love it! Thank you so much for helping me learn, I honestly am pleased you took the time. Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Nice, I shall remember to try out a taste test first when opportunity knocks   SG |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
SG, I hope you have many opportunities. It sounds like a plan, huh? Smiling here...the more I think of it the more I like the idea myself... thanks for replying, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
well, of course my mind heads for the gutter immediatley , but rereading, it very clever, use of words |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Michele, I hope that is the correct spelling of your name. You made me laugh out loud. My mind is probably there much more often than I realize...glad you liked way written. I appreciate you responding. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I'm just tickled by this whole thread! |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Dixie, Glad to think you have a smile on your face....perhaps if we'd all have done that taste test first, might have revealed enough to walk away unscathed?....nah, usually they are the kind you can't stop at one nibble; maybe we should use the rule of never go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. Gee, can already think of couple more poems with that thought... smiling here, Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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