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Open Poetry #24
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2003-01-12 11:23 AM



Senyru of Record

not much difference
between a two and a five
unless it’s hundreds

bank’s forgiveness
is reckoned extremely fine
when debt’s on the line

©January 12, 2003


for weeks we lament
crying for sky’s sweet moisture
now, sand sifts sky’s tears

©January 12, 2003


Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

[This message has been edited by VAS (01-12-2003 11:37 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2003-01-12 11:27 AM


Good job on these VAS,  particulary associate
with the bank,  the decimal places....good
thoughts...

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2003-01-12 11:42 AM


Moaning here, my recent encounter with banking 0's error nearly left me depleted emotionally as well as financially!

Glad to know it still rains somewhere.


garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2003-01-12 11:45 AM


Yeah, Virginia...I hate it when the bank blames those mistakes entirely on the computers!!  

Okay...a "Senryu" is a  5-7-5  that can be written about anything?    A "Haiku"  (5-7-5) is written about "nature" only. Right?
What is the Japanese verse called with more lines, like  5-7-5-7-7  ?


"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-12-2003 11:50 AM).]

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2003-01-12 11:50 AM


Thanks, all! And garysgirl...it was completely my mistake, it was a 'write-0' as opposed to a typo. Hand wasn't paying attention to brain...or else brain left town for a moment. The number in the hundreds' column should have been a 2, the same as was there before. No rhyme or reason as to why I wrote a 5 in it. People prayed with me, the bank forgave me and reversed the overdraft charges. God is good and forgiving!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-01-12 11:51 AM


Yes, He sure is......

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
6 posted 2003-01-12 06:20 PM


Well done my friend.  Enjoyed the word play and creativeness of this one. ThisDiamond
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
7 posted 2003-01-12 06:47 PM


The first one was cute. I enjoyed it. But I especially liked the second one.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
8 posted 2003-01-13 06:49 AM


sand sifts the sky's tears,
liked this one line that stuck,
clever one on the banks too,

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
9 posted 2003-01-13 08:55 AM


I enjoyed them all - The last one best..
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