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GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2003-01-12 03:39 AM

The war with Swords
And soldiers strong.
Who suffer,
Though the days are long.

The war of right
Against the wrong,
Protrudes from sweetest
Angel’s song.

A bloody knife
Against my chest.
You shrill in weakness,
Still possessed.

And I announce
A solid theme.
With bloody tears
And twisted schemes.

I shout and grimace;
By the knife
Still threatening
My very life.

And punch the knife
To pieces, four.
Though hand is wounded,
Broken, sore.

I walk along
With eyes sight straight
Won’t look upon
Your demon fate,

But step by step
I’ll make it through.
That knife is wrong
But comes from you.

And I’ll continue
In the right,
With truth holding
My thriving life.

And you’re the one,
That’s taken back;

Scared of knives,
And off of track.

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-01-12 10:35 AM

whoa.
You chanted this'n.

(Happens to be me one of my favorite meters too...

)

I read this with a witch's voice in my mind.
smile--but how could I not?

Enjoyed this much...absolutely enchanting!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2003-01-12 10:38 AM

GG
Well done a good write, enjoyed.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

3 posted 2003-01-12 10:42 AM

GG, this is very well-written. But, I don't like knives either...the real ones, or the "knives" of hurtful words that seem to cut into your very core........

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

4 posted 2003-01-12 10:42 AM

Yes, like the chant of this (Serenity...
take off your hat now)....

Excellent..

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

5 posted 2003-01-12 11:27 AM

thanks each of you for your replies.
Actually, if I coukd explain a bit, I wrote this after a Bible study which was saying we're to keep walking straight and the devil and his forces call from the side and threaten us, but they can't actually turn our focus from Christ...

But it was a fun little write, and I don't like knives either.. but I'm not afraid.

thanks again,
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2003-01-19 05:58 AM

Enjoyed...what about spears...James

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

7 posted 2003-01-19 06:04 AM

ooh those are fun too!

..what should I write for 'em *ponders*

ahh I've got this friend who's gotten me to compare everything to war! .. but I 'hold the line' and stand firm and keep fighting!
lol ..thanks for the reply

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

8 posted 2003-01-19 10:59 AM

Alyssa,

Not sure how I missed this earlier.

I enjoyed the rhythm, the wording and the explanation.

Such fun to watch your mind work; I am enjoying all you create; you do your parents proud. Smiling here.

Hugs to you, God bless, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

9 posted 2003-01-19 11:09 AM

lol now do I really? I live with my dad, he's never seen a word of my poetry. he doesn't even LIKE poetry (*gasp*). so for now, I'm afraid you all know me better than most.
And, wouldn't be so sure they're proud. but I thank you (!) for being so kind and glad you enjoyed my strangeee unrested mind!
hugs

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

[This message has been edited by GG (01-19-2003 11:27 AM).]

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

10 posted 2003-01-19 10:11 PM

The Bible is a great inspiration! Well done, Alyssa.

God bless America, my home sweet home.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

11 posted 2003-01-19 10:14 PM

I agree!
And glad some othes do

Thanks you muchly!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

12 posted 2003-01-20 03:21 AM

good stuff

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

13 posted 2003-01-20 03:58 PM

thank ya

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

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