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Open Poetry #24
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The Last Touch
| Open Poetry #24 |
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The Last Touch |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Flying stones, opaque, fine grey dust, not settled, as we slid off your bike, she, whom you cherished, almost as much as me. My first ride, one of your last. Blush cheeks, flushed red. My seaweed hair, mauled by rushed air. No helmets then, nor, would you now, tether freedom of the ride. I, sure we were sky flying, no end, to never return, okay, for I was molded, my front to your black back, one with God, we two, I breathed you in, nothing smells better, than leather, and, we were together. Didn't know we were racing time, you at twenty-four, I five behind. I just thought, oh God, I didn't think, or know, what it was you wanted to tell me, when you held my face in your hands that day, I thought I knew, but, you couldn't say. I believed we were just out to wind race, bugs in face, tire spit gravel, and defy deadman's curve, a lie, we made it, no slide, just glide, you geared down and we balanced, you and I, a perfect lean right into eternity would have been fine with me, I trusted you, explicitly, little did I know. And then, you sped up to play, even the angels couldn't keep up that day, or ever, from that time forward. But, I never thought, oh God, could not have guessed, the rest, of what you had to say that day, the ~last touch~ of our souls, united, yet, to be so far apart, too soon to lose and too soon to know a ~purity of heart~, such as yours. Even now, do I stand in awe, of the depth of who you were, you, who loved me, who loved you. I, for all the wrong reasons, and you, who did not care, you found my pitiful offerings, most precious, priceless, and you, who could not bear to tell me, not that you loved me, that, I knew, but, that you had to leave, your days were numbered, you dared to die, left me losing my mind, you were twenty-four, I, five behind. . . . . ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (01-12-2003 02:02 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Pat, how very sad, but what a trip through history! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
a lie, we made it, no slide, just glide, you geared down and we balanced, you and I, a perfect lean Lots to look at here and read between the lines...and in the aftermath nothing remains the same. I'm amazed by your phrasing. I'll be back to read this one over so that I might absorb every word! Right now I need to catch my breath~ |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
"My seaweed hair, mauled by rushed air." Pat, these made me laugh one with God, we two, "I breathed you in, nothing smells better, than leather," These made me sigh "I believed we were just out to wind race, bugs in face, tire spit gravel, and defy deadman's curve," These spoke very well of the cockiness of youth "you dared to die, left me losing my mind, you were twenty-four, I, five behind." A poignant thought-provoking read...makes me feel for the reader and wonder what she meant by "dared to die" into my library this goes... [This message has been edited by kaile (01-12-2003 12:51 AM).] |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
this is sad, and strong. Love can be so strong... and then when they go, die, it's so wrenching and twisting. You caaptured a lot with this, and certainly well. Keep it up. Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Pat, this is a very emotional poem. It makes the reader have many feelings. I don't know if this is personal, or not, so I won't comment further about the theme. You wrote this very well, friend. I enjoyed reading it.....  "Love makes the world go around" |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
sad, but oh so beautifully written!! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Thanks to all who've replied. Kaile, I liked how you separated out phrases, and commented. In answer to your last question, when someone you love deeply dies, the first part of grieving is pure, total (irrational) anger at the person who died; one often screams at that person who died, even tho. they are 'gone', "how dare you die!", as if they could do anything about it.... just part of deep loss... Ethel, This is a true story. I was 19, engaged to be married and my fiance developed Hodgenkin's Disease with a cure rate of 5 percent then, (he didn't make it) now it is almost completely curable. (He kept it secret for awhile, before I found out) That was my first motorcycle ride with him (we always rode in his little red Triumph sport car, I didn't like bikes, then, he wasn't a biker, was a farmer, but also worked in town, riding his bike to the city; LOVED motorcycles) and that day did happen and I don't know why we didn't crash, because he really was racing time that day...we just about flew...I would have gladly died that day with him. They say: "The good die young" and in this case they are right. He was extraordinary, to say the least. It was a drastic turning point in my life, and was six months after my father died. This happened over thirty-five years ago. And though sad, it is just part of who I am. It wasn't originally my intent to write something so personal for sometimes that bothers others. I just wanted to capture the motorcycle ride and the rest wrote itself. Thanks all for reading, Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (01-12-2003 10:51 AM).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
"and you, who could not bear to tell me, not that you loved me, that, I knew, but, that you had to leave, your days were numbered," Pat, You've said so much in this piece, both in what was written and the words that are read between the lines. Such a vivid description of both your first ride and the whole left in your heart by the loss of one you loved so. The pain will always be there, but so will the memories of what you had and what you shared. Thank you for letting us see into this part of you. Ruth |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Gosh, you really pulled me into this one. I could see that ride so clearly... Felt all of the emotions, the wind, so much of it and something in me told me that a tragedy was somewhere around an imaginary curve. You will never forget that ride, or that man who pulled you into his heart... Nor will I, after reading this poem.. Thanx for sharing this piece of your life's puzzle. Much enjoyed the ride.. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
tragically beautiful poem, a loving tribute to a great love of someones young life |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Patricia, this deeply touched my heart as I have just lost love that was never even love according to Joanna's testimony and we may never talk again as I feel I have crashed on this bicycle buolt for two also! (sad sigh) This is deeply aching, sweet friend, I send angel hugs to you, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Patricia, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Pat~ This is indeed a sad memory you shared with us. A side of you that I never seen revealed in your other poems. I hope your heart has healed over time.Bless you...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" [This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (01-12-2003 10:02 PM).] |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
This was so beautifully written. It really seems to capture the essence of that day, and the emotions in retrospect. Though it is a tragically sad story, I’m sure you have wonderful memories of your time together in your heart. You can never win or lose |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
The days of no helmets indeed... have claimed many needlessly. The value and importance of the ride, of course is one that must be a personal choice, knowing the risk... You've expressed it all very beautifully here, Pat... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
like this telling.... story line sad, but has the feel of been there done that in the writing... I enjoyed |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Hoot_owl_rn, Thank you so much for your kind reply. You captured it best, the first ride, which actually was my last, and definitely the hole in my heart. Your compassion is felt. Thanks. Barry, You are so right. too. I'll never forget that ride, nor that man. And, yes he did pull me into his life..in a way I never thought of before.... As said, since I am still trying to learn to write descriptively I set out to write a motorcycle ride, and I appreciate you letting me know you could feel it...and the subsequent emotions of the poem. Thanks. Vandana, thank you. Inkedgoddess, thanks for your response, and yes, I think I salute all that was....smiling here... Noah, Thanks for the angel hugs, but, like I said, they sometimes just can't keep up....but, the thought of them feel good, just like your love and caring. Paul, This side of me probably does show up in some of my poems, disquised in various ways...I usually try to stay out of my own mind, more often that not...smiling here....thanks... Tracy, It does capture the essence of that day and I am so glad you could see it...I rarely write personal happenings, but am sorta glad I did now, for it was soothing to my soul to release this day.... thanks Nan, You know, that was the only metaphor I used and am not surprised someone jumped on the phrase. I feel like you, re: helmets, but, quite frankly believe bikes are dangerous, not from driving them, but from other 'car' traffic, some are out and out mean.... this paticular ride, tho. fast, was safe...he wasn't a defiant, hell bent for destruction kinda guy...again, though, you are right it is a risk when not ridden properly, and I feel just as adamently about skateboards! My grandson always chids me about my overprotective attitude. Thanks for your reply. Ron, Think you said or implied once we all write with something of us in each poem...not a direct quote...but.... think you are right... glad you enjoyed. Thanks Pat Thanks to all of you, Hugs, Pat... ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (01-13-2003 08:46 PM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Beautiful write ARCTIC WIND |
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