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Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-01-10 09:22 AM



Grey iron castings
Still clinging to the sand
As edges glow dull
From hells mouth
Where they were filled
In spark spraying explosions
Of Clangbattered din

Grab another
To the smell of seared leather
As you strike 200 amps
Melting melding
and breath deep
inhaling reek

Only 10 hours out of 24
And three a week off
To cough soot
and nurse that foot
The odd one fell on

2 weeks pay and a bottle of Jack
all you have
cause no one cares
about black lungs
or hears the ring in your ears
that drowns voices
telling you to get out


Wilchou Foundry
might as well make chain
you aren't likely to get out
unshackled



© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
1 posted 2003-01-10 09:29 AM


Whoa!  Powerful, vivid!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-01-10 09:31 AM


Clangbattered din--

I like that...

and I just backspaced an entire story that emerged from reading this--how DO you manage to do that?

But oh you got the tone down again, and caught the maddening rhythm of hopelessness and boredom that festers in such a place.

Now maybe I should write about what happens in the roadhouse on weekends *wink*

See what you do to me?

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-01-10 09:42 AM



Let's not ask "how", Serenity...
let's just be glad he does...


[This message has been edited by Sunshine (01-10-2003 09:44 AM).]

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2003-01-10 09:46 AM


did some parts makin' in a modern blacksmith shop over the past few weeks...

all them suck machines and bodysuits to keep the germs off the skin

the mig welder reminded me of a sterile morticion putting plastic blood in my metal

dug this side of the view amigo..well done

vandana
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since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
5 posted 2003-01-10 09:48 AM


enjoyed
Cpat Hair
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Posts 11793

6 posted 2003-01-10 09:53 AM


VAS.. thank you Ma'am... glad you found it had an impact.

Ser... you got a story for everything ( chuckling) just goes to show you...all you need to do is have something trigger the thought and you can have that book written in no time.

Sunshine... I don't do anything..you know that..

Dark... just from memory..years ago worked for couple of years in a foundry. Much of the modern equipment and body suites wasn't about to be put into use in a small town make it cheap and go metal works... only thing cheaper than the steel was the people they hired. Like your MIG line... and it is like that...

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
7 posted 2003-01-10 10:12 AM


Don't do anything?  Cap'n - You can make a poem out of just about everything... This one is superb...
Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-01-10 10:21 AM


Nan... you are far too kind and generous. I'm not sure anything I do is or should be caled poetry... they are just piece parts of things I have seen or thought about. Thank you for the nice words...and the read..

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
9 posted 2003-01-10 12:33 PM


Ron,


"of things you think about..."

can you imagine if we could print out your brain?  A library, for sure, smiling here...enjoyed..

liked the little, tiny zinger of last three lines...

Warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

10 posted 2003-01-10 12:35 PM


thank you... but the library would be pretty jumbled up mess I fear and a lot of corners filled with dust.
RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

11 posted 2003-01-10 12:47 PM


Was a crane operator in a foundry making locomotives. Loud, dirty and dangerous. It's a hard man who can stay in it to retirement. Good write.
Cpat Hair
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Posts 11793

12 posted 2003-01-10 12:51 PM


RS... I made truck suspension parts..cast spring hangers and the slider assemblies they rode on as well as equalizers. Hot...dirty..dangerous..and it makes you a hard person in some ways even if you don't last until retirement. There were some truly strange people there... thanks for dropping by... appreciate it.


garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
13 posted 2003-01-10 12:57 PM


Capt. Ron, every piece of your poetry that I read from you
makes me more amazed of your abilities to write. It looks
like it isn't any trouble at all for you to put such
descriptions down in your poetry....and you are able to
accomplish this in every single poem you write, Sir,
no matter what the subject you choose to write about.

Like I said earlier, you amaze me and I love it......  

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

14 posted 2003-01-10 01:14 PM


Ethel... thank you for the nice words... in truth I do not struggle to write.. and have said before don't think of myself as writing but instead I just let the words write themselves... you are far too kind in your words and to see real talent one doesn't have to look far around here..so thank you again for the kind words..and I am glad you enjoy my scribblings...
bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

15 posted 2003-01-10 01:46 PM


Written in coal dust and sweat. Damn... And the ending is a sort of sick blood oath.

Blow my mind, why don'cha?

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

16 posted 2003-01-10 01:48 PM


Thanks again Mikey... my writing it doesn't do justice to the scenes inside my head or to those that live it... hard way to make a life bud.. and when I remember, it makes me feel very fortunate to have escaped not only the foundry but the area as well.

Charisma
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since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
17 posted 2003-01-10 03:01 PM


enjoyed it a lot

Charisma

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

18 posted 2003-01-10 03:05 PM


Thank you ma'am.. glad you enjoyed...
christian
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

19 posted 2003-01-10 04:26 PM



"2 weeks pay and a bottle of Jack
all you have
cause no one cares
about black lungs
or hears the ring in your ears
that drowns voices
telling you to get out"

you don't know how much i adore those
lines, as well as the entire poem.
i respect the quality of your work, and
you.


Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

20 posted 2003-01-10 04:29 PM


Christian... thank you kindly for the nice words... glad you liked thos elines..as they tell so much of what it was like to always be soot filled and deaf from the noise and the boredom and the hatred... the jack just numbed it...never solved it...
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