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Open Poetry #24
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2003-01-09 09:00 AM


Watch the rise, yellow sun, shedding light of day
Feel the warm, repealing nightly cold with light;
See the crowds, now rushing here to there, away:
I wait for dark night.

Watch is pass, to zenith to descend in west,
See shadows, that were short now lengthen in reach;
See them cross, this barrow of hiding dankness;
My evil’s own crèche.

Watch if fall, dip below horizon ends day
Return cold, it’s creeping with the dark spreading,
See no crowds, now cower here and there, away;
Night’s here for dreading.

Out I crawl, in moonlight and starlight shining,
See the lights, barely there lighting way to go;
Feel the dark, release me and escape binding;
Day comes soon I know.

I journey, just watching all the world I’ve lost
My escape, from tether of living is paid;
The sunshine, it’s appeal of warm feel, the cost:
Of the choice I’ve made.

Gloom

Sappho a Grecian Poetess of the 6th century
is credited with the design of this form, although few of her works
survived the burning of the Library of Alexander.
The form is stanza of 11,11,11,5




© Copyright 2003 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2003-01-09 09:11 AM


Professor,
Enjoyed this write especially
" I journey, just watching all the world I’ve lost
My escape, from tether of living is paid;
The sunshine, it’s appeal of warm feel, the cost:
Of the choice I’ve made."

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2003-01-09 09:49 AM


Out I crawl, in moonlight and starlight shining,
See the lights, barely there lighting way to go;
Feel the dark, release me and escape binding;
Day comes soon I know.
*****************************************
love this foray into the light of darkness

bluRaven
Junior Member
since 2003-01-08
Posts 18
Richmond, VA
3 posted 2003-01-09 11:45 AM


very wonderful poem, and imagery is great. Especially liked the last stanza!

"~Sometimes you have to forgive someone because you want them in your life."~~

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
4 posted 2003-01-09 12:45 PM



Enjoyed this a great deal and appreciate you pointing out the when and where of this form, which reads well. I, too, liked the last line...

warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2003-01-09 10:34 PM


I am vaguely familiar with Sappho...very neat that you went off of her format.  I enjoyed the write very much, thank you for sharing!

*Krista Knutson*

"If we have no peace, it is because we've forgotten that we belong to each other." ~Mother Teresa

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2003-01-10 02:44 AM


learn somthing new every day...thanks for sharing
Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
7 posted 2003-01-11 04:53 AM


Gloom...Enjoyed the feel of this poem.

When writing in this form is the rhyme scheme always as you have it here? A,C---B,D or can it vary.
Also is the number of stanza's always the same?
I guess I could look it up for myself, but just thought you might like to educate some of us...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

[This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (01-11-2003 04:54 AM).]

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

8 posted 2003-01-11 11:58 PM



This is exquisite...
*~coco~*

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