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Open Poetry #24
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rainman
Junior Member
since 2002-12-14
Posts 21


0 posted 2003-01-05 01:26 PM


The Man Lying Unconscious

Lying on the ground
with no respond
the unconscious man
now in a cloud
of dust but peace

Inside changing worlds
In front of changing routes
couldn't find any way
to the end

not right for a big trend,
the unconscious man
with a gun in his hand...

© Copyright 2003 rainman - All Rights Reserved
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
1 posted 2003-01-05 05:08 PM


oh.. my...


sure made me read a few times, cringe, sit trying not to think, then read again.

... Wll written.
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2003-01-06 04:35 AM


very sad
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
3 posted 2003-01-06 06:53 AM


mucho triste, es verdad?
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2003-01-06 10:53 AM


A sad but good write.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-01-07 09:28 AM



A hard-hitting write, rainman.  Thank you!

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