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Open Poetry #24
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winston
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 204
NW of Eden

0 posted 2003-01-06 08:46 AM


Bumping along a deserted track
springs smashed and hubs in need of greasing
wheels bound with bindweed
where blackthorn tears at clothes and flesh
goose grass clings and brambles tangle

Now a steep and uncontrolled descent
down deep ruts to a dark ford
where wheels sink through thin gravel
into sucking mud, axel deep and beyond
our precious burden lost to scouring waters

And all this performed under the sardonic eye
of one who observes but seldom speaks
if he should speak now, after long silence
his words would be rinsed away by rain
swept off by wind, drowned by thunder

"am a tourist not a terrorist, don't shoot, cause we are all on a journey to God" Michak

© Copyright 2003 winston - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-01-06 09:57 AM


and yet we build...for what else do we know to do?

hmm..

got me thinking.

Put the forum on alert. Could be a strange day.

Enjoyed m'friend.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2003-01-06 10:57 AM


Time for a serious overhaul, new springs, new axles, maybe even a different highway?
Good metaphor, Winston.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2003-01-06 11:04 AM


Yes, this is definately a thinker...that's a good thing, so keep it up...

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

winston
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 204
NW of Eden
4 posted 2003-01-07 09:11 AM


Tx Serenity, Midnite, and garysgirl. I appreciate you all appreciating it.

If don't mind me saying Serenity, you don't need to go to that extreme of putting the whole forum on alert.

"am a tourist not a terrorist, don't shoot, cause we are all on a journey to God" Michak

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
5 posted 2003-01-07 11:26 PM


Interesting work winston... If I was writing now I'd probably write like this...
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
6 posted 2003-01-08 11:32 AM




Enjoyed this greatly; so many descriptive lines...anyone who can write like this, should. Glad you did.


warm regards, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

winston
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 204
NW of Eden
7 posted 2003-01-14 12:47 PM


Thanks Rebel and Pat.

"am a tourist not a terrorist, don't shoot, cause we are all on a journey to God" Michak

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