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Open Poetry #24
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Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2003-01-05 07:27 PM


The ramble and rumble of this, that which
one would call a carouse, when toes step lightly
upon pavement black with rain soaked grit.

Walking the stroll of strut, the walk of talk as
heels click against the bricks of stores no longer
of five and dime.  Sidewalks rolled up in endless
rows of slab.

Strut the stuff, smoke the joke and inhale the toke.
See so much of that there on the corner where
life ebbed into the sewer’s drain and light filtered
through the fog in a blanket of temporary security.

Taxi....the word I heard called out behind me,
as shoes shuffled the mire and ribbons rolled the tire.
A creaking hinge moaning from too much lean and
too little gasoline for the engine on it’s last
cough....Engine Emphysema they called it.  Till
the tow truck honks for a bum to move, and
flattens his homeless shelter beside the bench
now crying for paint, if nothing more than just
a sign....

Life filters in on corporate wings...a bus hisses
as doors gape open and spew forth the daily
deluge of blue shirts and mini-skirts. Nearby
a young boy scalps for a dime as a tinkling
cup cries for one....

City life...at it’s finest...till the morrow rises
once again...

[This message has been edited by Magnus (01-05-2003 07:44 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2003-01-05 07:37 PM


I can relate to the polluted images you present here Magnus. The piece reached out to me on so many levels.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
2 posted 2003-01-05 09:41 PM


Really liked this Magnus, everyday in the city the same, wash, rinse, repeat
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2003-01-05 09:49 PM




Barry,

Well written. You captured it perfectly. The pollution, the noise, the death of a city. Sad.

Warm regards, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
4 posted 2003-01-06 12:08 PM


Barry, I like the way you portrayed city life in this poem. You made it seem real.  

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-01-06 02:48 AM


whew! *stepping outside for breath of fresh air*
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2003-01-07 08:27 PM


Walking the stroll of strut, the walk of talk as
heels click against the bricks of stores no longer
of five and dime.  Sidewalks rolled up in endless
rows of slab.

Interesting glimpse of the city and life in the fast lane.

   Very much enjoyed your catchy write Magnus!

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (01-08-2003 11:33 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
7 posted 2003-01-08 03:51 AM




(big hugggssssssss) I would hate to adapt to life in the concrete jungle, sweet friend, I am just a harmless Cassandra who gases upon this world trying to hang onto what nature remains! (sad sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Barry, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
8 posted 2003-01-08 06:03 AM


a walk in the fast lane..the reason I so love my lil corner of the world!!--enjoyed!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
9 posted 2003-01-08 10:54 PM


A paradoxal scene...painted with rich textures...sadly the very guts of what may be seen and felt.  Well done my friend.
ThisDiamond

enchantingvamp
Member
since 2002-12-21
Posts 214
Indiana, & NO there is NOT more than corn in Indiana, oughta go back to texas!
10 posted 2003-01-08 11:06 PM


This is why I've moved to the country....but I was surprised and saddened to see that the country is not so different from the city, wonderful read.  

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
11 posted 2003-01-08 11:30 PM


Barry - I'm sitting on the throne answering this. Hope you don't mind, but BC is a hurting dude. I came home from work at 1:30 pm, slept until 5:30 pm, went back to bed around seven? and just got back up...

BC

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