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Open Poetry #24
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regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California

0 posted 2003-01-24 01:04 PM





From ~ever~
I emit
vulnerability
standing
clothless
in glaring
sunlight
wasting no time
dazzling some
who come to play
my game
of love.

Oh, how we dance
evergreen

in

sparkling love dust,
    
     like unraped souls
at birth,

are we.

Ah, how we party
into moonglow
a day well spent

we shining,

like every star we are.


Yet, there are those
who see me weak,
a chance to
further
their deceit,
side by side,
to walk with me,

oh, no!

they, incomplete.

For, they cannot
  
     laugh my song

until they've paid the
price to get into this

     heaven's show.

For, I have danced
         on ~my~ coffin,
with much zeal,


I've known
the
fire,
and, now I'm real.

Not just anyone
can
dance evergreen,

first,

they must feel.

.
.
.

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

© Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
1 posted 2003-01-24 01:15 PM


Sounds like the pixies are at it again

clothless
in glaring
sunlight

Oh, how we dance
evergreen

in

sparkling love dust,


Dust me with thine eyes
Brush me with thine wing
Let me gaze in cloudless skies
And here the Siren sing

For, I have danced
         on ~my~ coffin,
with much zeal,


Is this just perchance a dream
Have I fallen from the living
Drowning in the sparking stream
Bludgeoned by beauty given.

Interesting write
Gives many images and rise to much thought

Gloom

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-01-24 01:17 PM


Pat, this is different than anything I've seen of your poetry. I really do like it, though. It has a magical feel to it, somehow...

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-01-24 01:23 PM


For, they cannot
  
     laugh my song

until they've paid the
price to get in


oout of context her perhaps...but it says volumes...

enjoyed this... a great deal.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2003-01-24 01:26 PM


Pat,
It ended well, enjoyed.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2003-01-24 01:38 PM


Amazing write!!  Much enjoyed the read Pat.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2003-01-24 01:57 PM


awesome write! and the last lines are terrific!
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
7 posted 2003-01-24 01:57 PM


Professor,

Thanks for reading and replying. I so enjoyed your input. Glad it leaves something to think about.

Ethel,

Glad you like it. If I wrote as 'far out there' as I'd like, few would understand it...so try to tone it down
Not that I am so brilliant, that I'm so whacko, sometimes....I say that smiling......hugs....

Ron,

Thanks for commenting....I am thinking.................hmmmmmmm...
I have to go to work so won't see any further comment if you make any so just consider I am ....thinking........still trying to break my brain loose....so fogged from non-use or never-use...blocked not from....oh, never mind...this is more in the line of how I'd like to write and it is getting there, slowly....


if you have another comment, that would be great, however I won't be able to get back here to read it for awhile...

Really appreciate you, thanks


Sy and Enchantress, Thanks,

Hugs to all of you,  Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-01-24 02:01 PM


For, they cannot
  
     laugh my song

until they've paid the
price to get in,


      or follow my tears

to any meaning without also
tasting my days
just seems to be aline in there somewhere...that takes the whole..and condenses it into an essence....

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
9 posted 2003-01-24 02:07 PM



Dixie, Thanks, glad you liked.

Ron,

Okay...still here.....am thinking....
thank you so much for taking your time and I will consider what you mean...
Wish I had more time right now...
drats...am running late....

Smiles to you both, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
10 posted 2003-01-24 04:05 PM






(sigh) Oh Patricia, I love that kind of poetry that "flings", I felt the ping-pong inunctation reading this! (kiss on cheek) You are one talented troubadouress, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Patricia, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2003-01-24 04:11 PM


Pat...this is so interesting, a twirl of mind, yours and then mine.  Much enjoyed!
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
12 posted 2003-01-24 06:08 PM


Wow, read this a few times.
I almost thought I understood it for a second, then I was lost again.. but lost to a dream. A dream I like.
Quite beautiful work..
I just walked in the door from school though,
maybe I'll be back later after reading this a dozen more times!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

13 posted 2003-01-26 01:30 PM


For, I have danced
         on ~my~ coffin,
with much zeal,


I've known
the
fire,
and, now I'm real.

Not just anyone
can
dance evergreen,

first,

they must feel.


Very unique write Pat.  Enjoyed the style and feel of this.

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
14 posted 2003-01-26 01:59 PM



Noah,

Thanks for your reply. Most welcome.

Martie,

Yes, smiling, a twirl of my mind, glad it makes your go round a bit....

Alyssa,

You will, for if anyone has the ability to figure this out, you do!!
Hugs and love to you,

Duncan,

Thank you for taking the time and replying...your comments are encouraging  and greatly appreciated.

Thanks to all, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
15 posted 2003-01-26 02:37 PM




sounds like you've been down in the trenches and got your self together, not taking any prisoners along for the ride anymore.then again, maybe i missed the boat,afterall,
but i find a lot of strenght from lived life in  your writing

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
16 posted 2003-01-26 05:30 PM


Pat,
yay I think I've got it right then(and the first time too), well right as in what you meant by it. I'm sure I've ready it a good twenty times by now. Love it alot! especially like these lines
"For, I have danced
         on ~my~ coffin,
with much zeal,


I've known
the
fire,
and, now I'm real."

Love and hugs,
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

17 posted 2003-01-26 05:51 PM


I enjoyed the lightness of this. Very different.

Enjoyed
SimplyGold

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
18 posted 2003-01-26 06:19 PM


Oh, how we dance
evergreen

in

sparkling love dust,

~*~

For some reason,
evergreen has always had a special
meaning to me...
and when it's used in poetry,
or song?

It's usually very special...

Thank you!

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