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RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

0 posted 2003-01-03 02:30 PM

The pews benign as rhymes align in church
all sonnet like with fourteen to each half,
an aisle leads to the pulpit's rod and staff
whose sermon's olive branch or whipping birch
delivered by God's man from on his perch
while parents like iambs divide the chaff
in rows of ten to stifle any laugh
that might to preacher's ear their name besmirch
until the volta of the lesson's end
when bottomless the basket wends it's way
and those the words intend make the amends
of sinners who this way are made to pay
lest they might He offend and so descend
would they not live until the next Sunday

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

1 posted 2003-01-03 02:42 PM

An apt description.
Enjoyed as always.
Sandra

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-01-03 02:48 PM

interesting

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2003-01-03 03:32 PM

The pews benign as rhymes align in church
all sonnet like with fourteen to each half,
an aisle leads to the pulpit's rod and staff
whose sermon's olive branch or whipping birch
delivered by God's man from on his perch
============================

smiling here at your clever rhymes scheme as well as the internal rhymes and your witty analogies.
well done poet sir....always well done.

Will the wind remember the names it has blown in the past?
With this crutch, its old age and wisdom, it whispers no ... this will be the last.

jh

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

4 posted 2003-01-03 03:38 PM

Analogies mixed up with rhyme........
yep.........love it.
Well thought out, well done!

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-01-03 03:51 PM

Richard, you captured it very well, Sir......Would be good if every one gave because they felt it from their heart and not to gain something themselves......Don't you think?
Thank you for sharing..

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

6 posted 2003-01-03 04:08 PM

Extremely well written poet sir.
Much thought went into this...
and I very much enjoyed the read.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me~

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

7 posted 2003-01-03 07:41 PM

smiling here....enjoyed much.....

Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

8 posted 2003-01-03 08:28 PM

Enjoyed this surly smack...hehe...
Can't disagree...and had to smile at the truth contained. Nice Write. ThisDiamond

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

9 posted 2003-01-03 10:10 PM

Excellent Richard and I am sitting here wondering how you did the research for this one actually.

~ The soul lies buried in ink that does not flow ~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

10 posted 2003-01-04 12:07 PM

This reads like a modern day sermon.

A generous amount of food for thought that's for sure...

Thanks, I really enjoyed reading your poem.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

11 posted 2003-01-04 10:26 AM

Richard....laughing at Sharon's comment. Can a little anger fill the coffer with change? Enjoyed this, as I always do your writing.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

12 posted 2003-01-04 10:29 AM

RSWells
A smile for your wile, excellent write.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

13 posted 2003-01-04 10:45 AM

I wondered what that little basket was really for. Always thought they were gifting me (the poor, meek and mild) with some extra lunch money.
LOL at Sharon's comment.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

14 posted 2003-01-04 10:56 AM

Ah. So this is how it's done...

Let's see if I can count the
multitude of lessons you wove
into this one, Sir Richard...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

15 posted 2003-01-04 11:09 AM

while parents like iambs divide the chaff
in rows of ten to stifle any laugh--

SO VISUAL...

and this is just delicious Richard...

every word adds, nothing detracts or distracts, as it should be.

and I've a hunch you play music as well...
hmmm.

Enjoyed this so much, I've been sneaking tastes all morning.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

16 posted 2003-01-04 11:20 AM

library

*click*

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

17 posted 2003-01-04 03:42 PM

"lest they might He offend and so descend
would they not live until the next Sunday"

uh-oh, me thinks I'm in trouble!!

Enjoyed the "sideways" humor..and the truth..

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

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