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Open Poetry #24
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Cpat Hair
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0 posted 2003-01-03 12:23 PM



Red Cedar grow in rocky soil
With roots that twist between cracks
As they anchor life to the precarious

238 steps up the side of Holman’s bluff
the limestone pauses for a few feet
in its effort to stretch from the river bed
to the off white clouds so often seen
on fall and summer days above.

A few Reds grow here
With limb tips reaching for the ground
As if in fear of toppling off this perch.

Once, under these trees
We spread a blanket on prickly needles
And stripped ourselves bare of the day
Speaking quietly of nights to come
Promises
Dreams

Such trees survive,
but our words,
did not.



© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-01-03 12:25 PM



Some seed just does
not take well to limestone...
no matter how good the view.

Well done, Sir.


Martie
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California
2 posted 2003-01-03 12:28 PM


Ron--I find it amazing to think of the strength of some things, in comparison to the fragile nature of others.  It is an interesting dychotomy, and makes good poetic material...as is the case with this poem. , my friend.
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-01-03 12:29 PM



"Speaking quietly of nights to come
Promises
Dreams

Such trees survive,
but our words,
did not."

-------------------------------------------
Oh my Ron...you always come up with these endings
after I get all comfortable in a warm read.  
Fantastic write as always m'friend.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
  So you won't ever forget me~

garysgirl
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Florida, USA
4 posted 2003-01-03 12:35 PM


Very beautifully written, as always, Capt. Ron. Thank you...

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 2003-01-03 12:40 PM


Perhaps another variety of seedling will take root and thrive... It sounds like a truly beautiful place to grow...
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2003-01-03 12:46 PM


Can we accept that the roots didn't grow deeply enough or firmly enough and move on? That's the hard part. Enjoyed this very much sir.
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
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Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2003-01-03 12:49 PM


Cpat Hair
You brought a shadow into the light and it disappeared. Well done.

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
8 posted 2003-01-03 01:40 PM


just a beautiful write, I enjoyed reading.
jellybeans
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since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

9 posted 2003-01-03 02:07 PM


wonderful work...nature survives untold ravages and it survives, but words are fragile as a leaf, and need caring and protection to survive
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2003-01-03 02:13 PM


Cpat this is brilliant. The ending a lesson we all learn. Vivid imagery, such a heartfelt poem. Thanks for sharing.
Krawdad
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since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

11 posted 2003-01-03 02:21 PM


Entropy?
hmmmmmm
From the title, my expectation of randomness and disorder was not well met.
Sorry.
I like the poem though, and know that place.

Cpat Hair
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12 posted 2003-01-03 02:32 PM


Thanks to you all... nice of you to drop in and read..and leave your thoughts.

K... Entropy:physics measure of unavailable energy: a measure of the energy in a system or process that is unavailable to do work

in this context does the title make any more sense?


Krawdad
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since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

13 posted 2003-01-03 08:20 PM


Ok, in the sense that the words have now become random, unordered bits of energy.
I guess I wasn't focusing tightly enough on the last lines.
Sorry if I stepped on it.

e

BluesSerenade
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since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
14 posted 2003-01-03 10:30 PM


I love the way you write....your first verse drew me in and somehow I knew I would sigh in the end.

Nice one Cpat~

Midnitesun
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Gaia
15 posted 2003-01-04 01:45 AM


We spread a blanket on prickly needles
And stripped ourselves bare of the day
Speaking quietly of nights to come
**************************************
That's a very nice image.

Salty
Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669
Texas
16 posted 2003-01-04 02:08 AM


Oh those memory places that stay so strong in our hearts and mind.  Sometimes a little painful to recall, but makes for good poetry.


~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
17 posted 2003-01-04 07:26 AM




Ron,

I looked up ~entrophy~ in the dictionary myself and tried to relate. (as I do other of your titles) Glad for the explanation.

Overall, lovely imagery, though ending quite sad. I also agree with Martie.


Warm regards,  Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Bill Charles
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since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
18 posted 2003-01-04 01:41 PM


Cpat Hair - nice blending from the trees to the blanket and then to words that did not stay...

BC

Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
19 posted 2003-01-04 03:07 PM


You are the king of the poignant ending, dear Captain.

Cor

Sandpiper
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since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
20 posted 2003-01-04 03:17 PM


hmmmm..once had a garden filled with the weeds of promises and dreams, even Miracle Gro didn't work, hehe...and nature always takes its own course---enjoyed!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
21 posted 2003-01-05 01:36 AM


I like where you're going Ron.
You are finding your new voice.

Ed

bsquirrel
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22 posted 2003-01-08 01:02 PM


It felt like I was dissolving into the landscape
as your words dissolved into the sky.

EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
23 posted 2003-01-08 02:03 PM


some words can survive much longer than you think.
The Lonely Stranger
Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361
Upstate, NY, USA
24 posted 2003-01-12 08:33 AM


[[Once, under these trees
We spread a blanket on prickly needles
And stripped ourselves bare of the day
Speaking quietly of nights to come
Promises
Dreams

Such trees survive,
but our words,
did not.]]

Very nice write .... I can so much identify.

... There is no normal life Wyatt, just life ... so live!

Magnus
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South Carolina, USA
25 posted 2003-01-12 11:04 AM


Ron,  a superbly thought out piece.  Metaphoric perfection. (Is that a word?)
I like this poem and the comparisons,
the outcome..so true..

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
26 posted 2003-01-12 11:11 AM


precious memories...too sad an ending, too sad

well done!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
27 posted 2003-01-12 11:17 AM


Lovely words, Ron.

Cor

scorpio
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since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
28 posted 2003-01-12 01:01 PM


Great write, Ron..

believe in what your heart feels...

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
29 posted 2003-01-12 03:05 PM


I love this one. I ended a poem I wrote several years back with almost the exact thought
The Inscription

I carved your name,
in a heart,
with the words
"I love you"
in the rough bark of a tree.

The days passed,
spring turned to summer,
summer to fall,
fall to winter,
winter to spring,
one year to another,
and yet the letters remained.
The trees bark wrapped them lovingly;
dark moss blanketed the groves;
the sun faded the letters;
but still, they endured.

Oh, how that inscription
weathered the storms...
I wish I could say the same
for our love.

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