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Open Poetry #24
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Why Can't He Understand, Or At Least Try To
| Open Poetry #24 |
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Why Can't He Understand, Or At Least Try To |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA 
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Why can't he understand, or at least try to Why does he always think his way is the best and only way Doesn't he realize I 'm now a grown woman With a mind and a heart of my own I am not his "little girl" anymore The one he has to protect and shield from harm Being through so much in my past, I can handle things Even when hurt and devastated I always bounce back With happiness and vitality and mostly with more wisdom He has taught me to be strong and independent I 'm thankful that he loves me and wants to protect That he wants to keep me from harm and despair But why can't he SEE this great Love I 've found Why can't he see the love and commitment that my Love and I share Why can't he be happy for me that I've finally found my True Love And that my Love feels exactly the same about me Why can't he just realize that we feel the same type love that Mom feels for him And that he feels for Mom WHY? [This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-07-2003 08:07 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ethel GG Kent - All Rights Reserved | |||
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Ethel~ This is a sad situation, and if this is your reality, then I can't help but think that you should replace the word 'he' with the word 'you' throughout the poem and give it to your dad. Again, if this is your reality, then I do hope that everything works out for you, and that he begins to understand. Hugs,  ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (01-07-2003 05:22 PM).] |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Interesting write gal...hope things work out..... |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Vicky, I'm sad to say that this is reality. This is the main reason that Gary and I aren't already married. As far as giving the poem to my Dad, I honestly don't think it would help anything. He is so stubborn and close-minded that nothing changes his mind once he gets something in his head. Even though this poem may not sound like it, I love my Dad very much I've just never been able to please him , it seems. I believe that I'm old enough to make up my own mind about this, but Gary is such a good man that he wants my Dad to approve of our marriage. I may have not should have written this, but I needed to get it out some way. Thanks for listening....  "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Thank you, Toerag. I know that it will eventually. I just hope that I don't lose Gary by putting our marriage off too long. If it comes to that, I'll just have to do what my heart is telling me to do. I guess it wouldn't worry me so much about what my Daddy thinks, but he's always been such a good Dad in most ways. And, he had open-heart surgery a few years ago and sometimes I'm afraid he'll have a heart attack if I don't do what he wants about this situation. Well, my friend, I certainly didn't mean to reveal all this personal stuff on these pages, but they seemed to just come rolling out. "Love makes the world go around" |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Ethel - why can't he? Because he is your father. I was 46 when my father passed away and he still worried about me and the partner I had at the time....who is now my husband. Maybe you should send him this heartfelt poem and he might loosen his grip on his "little girl." hugs, Chris  "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
It's his job and you'll always be his baby that's why, but I do understand this. There comes a time when you have to fly on your own wings! Remember parenting doesn't come with directions. Enjoyed this Ethel~ |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
if you dont mind my bluntness, how old are u? im 48, almost, so now that i told u, ?? i like this very much; just wondering how old daddys little girl is? |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
This is indeed an eternal story, told with great beauty and phrasing. Very reminiscent in some aspects of my childhood. In his enchanting book "The Man Who Talks to Horses", (origin of "The Horse Whisperer" movie with Robert Redford), Monty Roberts tells of how, even while his mother was dying of cancer, she only wanted her son and husband to unite. Even that atmosphere could not kindle a spark of change in the husband. Some things just are. Thank you for a beautiful write. KJ Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Chris, I know. He never has and never will think ANYONE quite measures up to what he wants for me. Thank you for replying and reading me. "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Lori, thank you for your reading and reply. It's just that they depend on me too much, I guess, and I would have to move about 6 or 7 hours away from them. "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
inkedgoddess, I'll just say that I'm older than you. But, it wouldn't matter to my Dad if I was 20 or 90 years old and he was still living, he would think of me as his "little girl". I have always been stubborn and self-willed and kind of rebellious.......just did mostly what I wanted to do since I left home at 17 (to get away from home & to get married). That only lasted for 5 years. I won't go into the rest of why he is so protective, but I've been through a lot of heartache in my life. He just doesn't want me to get hurt anymore, he says. "Love makes the world go around" |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thanks for your honesty, at least your daddy loves you though, thats nice for you |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Ken, thank you for your reply. I saw that movie, "The Horse Whisperer". It's really a good movie. I haven't read the book , but will look into getting it. The books are always better than the movies to me, for some reason. You are right about "some things just ARE"... I'm afraid this may just be one of those things. Thank you... "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
inkedgoddes, Yeah, I'm very lucky to have two parents who love me. My parents have been married for over 60 years, and they don't understand a lot of things in life. My Mom goes along with more things than my Dad does without saying anything. He always tries to make me do things his way. Thank you for your comments. Oh, by the way, one of my Dad's concerns is that Gary is younger than me. But he (Gary) says that "age is just a number". Well, I'd better shut up before I get TOO revealing here tonight. HaHa!! "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-07-2003 10:24 PM).] |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Ethyl~ This poem hit home with me in many ways. I have 3 grown children, one of which is a daughter and as much as I love all of them, I have never tried to control or choose their mates, that is something only they can do. I offer advise to them all and they talk to me when they want my advise but never will I try to run their lives as it seems your father is doing with you.I know it is hard for him to give up his daughter to another, but he has to realize he's not giving you up, he is just allowing you the same chance to make a life of your own like he had. You might ask him what would he do if his father in law or father had done like he is trying to do with you, when him and your mother were dating and planning a future together. There are ways you can be tackful and explain this to him. I hope all works out well. "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
so youre a cradle robber, too, like that in romance, cant stand most men my age, theyre just so dried up |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Thank you, Paul. You sound like a very good Dad. Yes, my Dad has always tried to "run my life" (and my brother's, too). About talking to him, it's like talking to a brick wall, most of the time. My Mom is my "friend", as well as my Mother, but I sometimes don't think my Dad even "likes" me, though I know he loves me. "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
inkedgoddess, Some folks would probably call me that, though Gary hates for me to even kid about it. In fact, he's probably a lot older than I am in lots of ways....HaHa!! BTW, have you ever noticed that when a younger man and an older woman fall in love, the relationship (marriage) last longer than when a younger woman and older man fall in love. I think it's because the younger woman usually gets bored with her older man. I could NEVER, EVER get bored in any way whatsoever with my Gary. And he likes the sassiness and stubborness in me. And to make it all perfect, he thinks I'm STILL beautiful.....Isn't that great?? I sure do think so. We both think the other is beautiful on the inside, as well as the outside......... "Love makes the world go around" |
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neveah5 Member
since 2002-11-22
Posts 197Ohio |
I feel your pain, only my dad isnt around..instead its my mother |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Heather, have you noticed that one or the other usually has one of their chidren they can't seem to let run their own life? Thanks for reading and replying... "Love makes the world go around" |
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dhicks03 Member
since 2002-12-26
Posts 267Missouri,USA |
Well, I think I understand your Father, but also I understand you. My wife was much older than I, and HER Dad hated me, said I was not good enough, all kinds of stuff. Anyway, years later he came around. We were married 23 yrs. My ex-fiance is/was 15 years younger than me. She the one i often write about. Yes, agae is just a number...talk to him Nice write!! |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Dennis, thank you for reading and replying. I appreciate your comments. I honestly belive that if my Dad would just LET himself really get to know Gary, he would really like him. They do have lots of thoughts and ideas in common. BTW, do you mind my asking what happened with you and your wife? My husband died after we were married for almost 23 years, too. Oh, and my Dad never did like him, either. "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-08-2003 12:17 AM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Ethel, my heart goes out to you, sweet friend, I think this is normal for all families but I do believe you deserve to make your own decisions now! (big hugggsssssss) Share this poem with him and let him know how you feel, for I am sure he will lighten up and you will grow closer than ever in understanding of this situation! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ethel, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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neveah5 Member
since 2002-11-22
Posts 197Ohio |
Most definately Ethel. My mom was very severe about it not letting me run my own life..she went crazy all through high school and after, so she HAD to make sure i didnt follow in her footsteps. i resented her a lot, and still do a bit, for not letting me experience life as a teen or learn from my own mistakes. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
don't give up hope |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Noah, if I really felt like it would do any good at all for me to share this poem with my Dad, I would take it down there to him this morning. But, I really don't think he would even read it. He's just that stubborn. Thank you so much for your compassion and concern. You are all really sweet...... "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-08-2003 04:27 AM).] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Heather, I'm sorry that you had to go through that with your Mother. I hope things will get better with you two..... "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Dixie, Thank you so much for your encouragement. I appreciate it so much. "Love makes the world go around" |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
ethel this is nice, really, as for your comment to me above, yes,i think the younger woman may just be wiating for daddy to kick off so she could collect the sugar, (actaully i toy with this thought myself to undertake one day) but for now, i like em young, not jailbait,of course, but around l5 less than mine, |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Until I read that he hadn't liked your first husband, either, I was thinking that he just didn't want to lose you... and you being many hours instead of a few minutes away probably seems like you're thinking of moving to the moon... and he resents the one taking you there. *S* And yes, that's controlling... but it's also love, whether stated or not. *S* But since your choices have never suited him, I doubt you'll change (or open) his mind at this point... but there does come a point where you have to live for yourself instead of someone else. *S* Wishing you luck!!! |
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secretlife Member
since 2002-07-30
Posts 359Grean Earth ,,, |
Me too, I have the same problem but all I can say is easy come, easy go.... God with you dear and we all here with you, I really love the way you write your poem... Very nice... Good Luck.... Hugesssssssssss |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
inkedgoddess, you are a mess...I never know what your response is going to be. You love to just be yourself, and that's a really good thing. "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I know, Suthern Lady, I just think it's a lot easier to live my own life when I'm living it closer to them. If I could talk them into moving closer to where I'll be living, everything would be solved....at least where my Love and I are concerned. But I doubt that either of my parents will agree to that, either. They've lived in the same house since I was in the eighth grade.....many years ago. I think if I had more brothers or sisters, it would be easier on him. But, there's only me and my brother, and he, as well as the grandchildren, all live far away from my parents. Thank you for the well wishes. I appreciate them. "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-08-2003 10:44 AM).] |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Thank you, secretlife, for your sweet comments. I really appreciate them. "Love makes the world go around" |
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dhicks03 Member
since 2002-12-26
Posts 267Missouri,USA |
No, not at all. Seems we grew apart. Were seperated for 4 yrs, then I got re-engaged, then divorced, then un-engaged. LOL....you asked Read "just sign". |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Dennis, thanks for your answer. Sorry to hear that you had the hard luck. I'll go right now to read the poem...... "Love makes the world go around" ~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~ [This message has been edited by garysgirl (01-09-2003 10:43 AM).] |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
Hope all goes well and works out in the end. *hugs* I wish I could offer more. Kielo I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Ethel hugs, you've read my poetry so you know how i feel about how parents can be, all i can say is don't let it get you down, but of course that would make me a hypocrite, so i'll just say..hugs raph |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ethel, Age makes a difference for all concerned here. Your parents must be in their 70's....(?) father experienced scare with death, and fear of who will take care of your mother when he's gone...???? Does she have support from family and friends there? What if you passed away today? What would they do? Or, move away.... Find out their wishes in this regard, (care of your mother) and look in your community to see what is available for independant living - housing for the elderly, maybe get something set now, for when you leave. Leaving one's home is very difficult at that age....but, sometimes necessary, for all concerned....that is downstream, but maybe you can open the conversation now, and resolve these issues..even if you just bring pamphlets home from a retirement center/housing arrangements.... Not for them to do it now, but to be aware of what is available....they, planning their future....which they should be doing on their own.... unless you plan on "being there" for her the rest of your life. Sounds like you do. Not saying that is wrong.... That is the old-fashioned way...I love the thought....but not very realistic...why can't Gary move to your state? Job, I would suppose.... would a pre-nup agreement make your father feel more secure...Gary must be due to inheret, too, though.... Anyway, the decision is ~YOURS~ not anyone else's..... Can Gary support you? What do you plan on doing with your life when you move there? (besides making mad passionate love and writing poetry) smiling? How much age difference between you and him???? It does matter, downstream when you are 75 how old will he be? 50? 55? 60? 65? 70? Why do you have to marry him right away? Move there and get a job, or if money is not a problem, get involved with volunteer work and set up your own household, be independant, and ~DATE~ awhile....who cooks, cleans, for him now? what will be the status of your marriage???? How does he spend all his time now, when not with you???? Is he involved in his church? Organizations? Can you really just up and move and start a new life without knowing a lot more? People do it all the time....some times it works, sometimes not.... And, then there is the God factor....cover as many bases as you can and see what happens..Let go - Let God. why not take an extended vacation and visit for three (6?) months with him.... that might ease the situation with your parents... if you just go visit awhile...and you can get to know each other...in the real day to day living world...be there long enough for the novelty to wear off! Just some thoughts, Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Ethel, You do indeed have a young heart. But I did a little math.  Well I seem to have some experience about managing difficult relationships. There are people who cannot be persuaded. Which is, in fact, their choice. You MUST live your life and Gary will likely not get what he wants from your dad, as you well know. That doesn't mean a lack of respect, even if taken that way. Sensitivity is a good thing up to a point. I think Gary has reached that point. Get married already! My uncle was at least 17 years younger than my aunt. They had an awesome marriage. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
Best of luck to you in your personal life. |
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Salty Senior Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 669Texas |
You know if you just go ahead and get married...he will come around sooner or later...because You are his little girl no matter what. He just doesn't want to lose you and probably is worried you will move off where he can't keep his eye on you as well. I know that feeling all to well about pertective parents...seems my Mother is worse than my Dad though. Good Luck Ethel |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Kielo James Raph Thank you all for your sweet comments and for your concern and desire to make me feel better. I really do appreciate all of my friends here at PIP... "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Pat, you brought up a lot of very good questions. But, at least a hundred times in the last four and a half years, I have pondered these thoughts. Sometimes, there seems no solution except to let God take care of the situations. There is one thing that Gary and I both are very, very certain of........well, more than one, actually......we are both certain that we love each other with every fiber of our beings, we know for sure that we want to spend the rest of our lives together and we know that our marriage will take place one day because we don't want to be with anyone else more than we want to be together. Our only problem has been that I want my parents (Dad), to approve of our relationship, and they may never approve. Thank you, Pat, for your comments and for your concern for me.  "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Larry, thank your for your comments. And also for your encouragement for us to go ahead and marry regardless of age-difference and other obstacles. BTW, sounds like your Uncle and Aunt didn't let other folks persuade them different than their hearts were telling them to do. GOOD for them...... "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Opeth, Thank you for your well-wishes. I really appreciate them... "Love makes the world go around" |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Salty, Yeah, I believe he would come around sooner or later if we just went ahead and married, because Gary is such a likable and lovable person that Dad couldn't help but like him....if he didn't have a heart attack first... (he tells me things like this almost every time Gary and I are together for a weekend, even). About your Mom being protective, mine is, too. She just lets my Dad handle most of the arguments..... My Dad has always been verbally abusive in lots of ways...... He does fight this, but he still is at times... Thank you for the concern and well-wishes. I appreciate all of my family of friends here at PIP. You all are so sweet and loving. "Love makes the world go around" |
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