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Open Poetry #24
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2003-01-03 09:25 AM



This poem seems that it has no closure, but nothing's coming. What do you think, can it stand as is?But then again, maybe I should just toss the whole thing. ;o}

two-thousand and three
has come for thee and me
it’s hard to believe
can’t we have reprieve?

must we older become
is that rule of thumb
I guess when one considers
the cessation of the figures

that mark off degrees of living
we find us more forgiving
to accept the ages mounting
but then who’s really counting

we’re only as old as we feel
so we try to keep our zeal
and let no one close enough
to sneak in a pinch or touch

for then we’ll keep a mystery
of just how old we feel to be
as we check in to getting botox
and dream of being a fox

so let the years pile on
we’ll rejoice in each dawn
revel in each lovely night
bathing in its starry light

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

© Copyright 2003 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2003-01-03 09:29 AM


VAS,
so let the years pile on
we’ll rejoice in each dawn
revel in each lovely night
bathing in its starry light
Why not, enjoyed.

amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
2 posted 2003-01-03 09:32 AM


Closure is over rated! Let this stand as it is...a testiment to the continuity of life.....

Much truth you speak here...btw!

Loved it

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
3 posted 2003-01-03 09:43 AM


it feels complete to me and a happy new year to you!
SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
4 posted 2003-01-03 10:20 AM


I think this is very nice and complete.

Truths, Lies and Imagination,
The way my life has been
The person that I truly am,
Is very rarely seen. ©das



passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-01-03 01:49 PM


made me think of getting old...now I'm depressed. Good write though.
Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

6 posted 2003-01-03 02:03 PM


VAS,
I like this finish.
It's open-ended and a continuation of the thread that runs throught the poem.
It's optimistic.
Don't mess with it.

e

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