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Open Poetry #24
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GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2002-12-29 04:49 AM



Muscles ache and joints
Crack loudly as bending down.
It hurts to move,
And even the simple blink
And breath
Bring convulsions and fear.

Lay down but never sleep.
As an omniscient being,
Only there.
Watch the rise, the setting,
And see the story take place;
While lying down.

All because the wrench,
The twinge,
The gasp expressed
As breaths are taken..
Overbear the mind
And exclude all else.

Brace,
And breathe again.
Blink..
Move..
Hear the joints crack again.
Like an old man..
Like a dying citizen…

But you…
No,
I..
I feel this. And now,
I’ll take another breath;
You’ll hear it,
Over the crack of my joints.


- And so it was that time stood still -

[This message has been edited by GG (12-29-2002 05:39 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 GG - All Rights Reserved
Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
1 posted 2002-12-29 09:53 AM


Are you describing my morning wakening?

Yes,  been there,  do that... and relate
terribly well...  good metaphors..
well said...

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
2 posted 2002-12-29 10:00 AM


aww haha sad to hear anyone else faces this too. But then I'm fifteen. Of course your a young and spry sir yourself! Now is it really better to sleep and face the morning? I just stay awake allll night.
Thanks for reading and for the reply

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2002-12-29 11:49 AM


Alyssa,
I'm sad to say that I relate all too well with this poem, too. Ugh....it hurts so bad sometimes....most of the time, actually.

I'm hoping that you aren't REALLY feeling all this pain already at 15?

BTW, have I told you that you certainly are a talented writer, and only 15 years old????
Simply amazing, you are....  

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
4 posted 2002-12-29 12:01 PM


Thank you Miss Ethel! I certainly take a reply like that from you as cherished one!

And yes, 15, well; we're all faced with different hurdles at different times. I'm sure the doctors will gain some sense some day and exclaim "eureka!" to me

Sad to hear that you can relate though. Your young yourself! I think the obstacle of not even wanting to move can really extend faith ...

Its 9 AM, haven't slept all night, sorry, I think I may be babbling!

God bless and happy New year
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2002-12-29 10:46 PM


You're welcome, sweet Alyssa....  

And  THANK  YOU  for saying I'm "young"....wellll...maybe I am at heart!!    

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

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