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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2002-12-25 02:58 AM

Staring                          Staring
down the Barrel            at my old
again..                           fountain pen

The taste                     The foul taste
of metal                        of gold plate
upon my tongue..         in my mouth

I'm not sure if               I don't remember
the chamber                if there's even ink
is empty..                     in this thing

Life flashes                  Experiences going
before me                    through my mind
as I try to                      trying to find inspiration
pull the trigger.....         so I can write.....

This poem is about writer's block which I've had the last week or so. I just came up with a Metaphor Not Metaphor format off the top of my head to get me going. Well what do you know maybe I've invented a new kind of poetry? An MnM. Look out Haiku! I know not bloody likely...lol Probably a sucky poem and a crazy idea so I'm off to bed to battle with insomnia yet again

raf

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2002-12-25 04:05 AM

I like it...I experience this too....writer's block and insomnia. (uh, you see who's still up at this hour, don't ya?)

good format...I love the style.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

2 posted 2002-12-25 08:26 AM

i love insomnia, sometimes, sometimes you gotta just go with it, its like a gift just for you those late in the night hours, just you and your mind watching the tick,tick,tick of time chipping away.....yea,insomnias cool, isnt it?
liked your creative metaphoric stuff,

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2002-12-27 05:44 PM

Aenimal...definitely a format of writing worth discussing! Thanks...

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2002-12-27 06:13 PM

I would have never guessed you are suffering from writers block Raph. I enjoy your creativity and everything you write. Keep on keepin' on and don't be staring down the barrel for too long....it could be loaded and that's a dangerous thought.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2002-12-27 07:34 PM

Tooo many words for writer's block....

Interesting format....

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

6 posted 2002-12-27 07:57 PM

I love this!
Had me scared for a minute, but then when I realised how you did the metaphore, well, its just fantastic!!!

but insomnia.. ughhh, I've got it bad and its horrible! though I do love the stars

Keep writing this is awesome!
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

7 posted 2002-12-27 10:33 PM

Thanks Dixie appreciate it, yeah i noticed we keep similar hours lol

Thanks inked yeah sometimes its a blessing, things pour out without boundaries when your guard is down

thanks sunshine

Blues that's very sweet of you too say i really appreciate such kind words

Thanks Magnus always appreciate you're input hope you liked it

Thank you Alyssa again very sweet words. insomnia and writer's block the curse of the poet but often a blessing if i can get responses like these from my ramblings.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

8 posted 2002-12-28 02:28 AM

Hm...I could come up with all kinds of things to say concerning the metaphor of violence as art...the primal slash that is creativity...

oh and I've seen the MnM before, so sadly the form isn't that new

But I like this...if I was in the mood I'd critique, but I'm not so I won't...who knows, I might one day..

My only suggestion today - keep experimenting like this, I think it's cool...not enough do it..

K

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

9 posted 2002-12-28 12:36 PM

Thanks Sev I just I figured it wasn't new but a man can dream can't he. Thanks for the critique or non critique. CnC?

Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

10 posted 2003-01-03 12:00 PM

Amazing Ralph! I wish my writer's blocks produced results as original and creative as this! One for my library for sure!

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

Rainbowdust
Member

since 2002-12-05

Posts 320
Sydney, Australia

11 posted 2003-01-03 12:05 PM

LOL I'm so sorry; I meant Raph not Ralph! :O

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

Salty
Senior Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 669
Texas

12 posted 2003-01-03 01:54 AM

Now this is definitely a double barrell....and I love the creativity. I'm still not sleeping either...if that helps any lol.
well, probably not, but at least you know your not the only person UP-ALL-NIGHT.

Enjoyed your write, and Happy New Year to U

~Salty

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
--Deepak Chop

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

13 posted 2003-01-03 03:17 AM

Thanks rainbowdust quite an honour! And thanks for changing it, i hate ralph!! lol

Thanks Salty and Happy new year to you, sleep will come ..at least i hope.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

14 posted 2003-01-03 03:27 AM

Hey Raph... :waving:

Another insomniachere. I'm like this most of the time when Gary and I are apart....go to bed early when we're together...HeeHee!!...Oh, forgot I'm not at the other place back there.
Anyway, I liked the way you did this poem(s).

By the way, I'm gonna post a poem and then go to bed and hopefully go to sleep......

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

15 posted 2003-01-03 01:57 PM

Ethel you're adorable really lol

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