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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2002-12-26 11:34 PM

Tremors rumble underground
tumble in without a sound
of my breath
his love partakes

in quiet whisperings.

Through an open door
where dreams escape
like aftershocks, in gentle roll
frozen in a time and place

to face my fears alone.

A precious gift he gave to me
that supersedes all others
wrapped up in a thrill
clashing with red ribbons

in present, past, intense.

I'll love you longer than forever
in part, for all my days
you were my reverie encased
the beginning of the end

the full extent of my embrace.

In sudden flurries left to trace
outside the boundaries
drawn to scale
I've gathered grace

and settled my heart down~

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (12-26-2002 11:53 PM).]

mirror man
Senior Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 814

1 posted 2002-12-27 12:08 PM

I like the form of this. And the content isn't too mushy sweet. I like it.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

2 posted 2002-12-27 12:24 PM

What rythm! Wonderful style and grace in your writing.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2002-12-27 12:40 PM

The whole, was lovely. This part, stellar;

"A precious gift he gave to me
that supersedes all others
wrapped up in a thrill
clashing with red ribbons"

(Or in my case, yellow crime scene tape)

Ed

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

4 posted 2002-12-27 01:03 AM

Lori,
I think I saw some of that happen. You're the best!

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2002-12-27 01:14 AM

great stuff!

Sandpiper
Senior Member

since 2002-06-15

Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

6 posted 2002-12-27 05:49 AM

"In sudden flurries left to trace
outside the boundaries
drawn to scale
I've gathered grace"

a most gentle, graceful write--enjoyed!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

7 posted 2002-12-27 11:03 AM

Lori, I love to read about "love's whisperings".

I really liked the line...
"I'll love you longer than forever". That's exactly how Gary and I feel about each other.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

8 posted 2002-12-27 02:57 PM

I'm glad it wasn't too sweet for you mirror man, wouldn't want to ruin it for you.

  Really nice to see you here again~
Thank you~

Raph~ Maybe I'm onto something and will find my rhythm yet.  Thank you very much for your nice compliments.

Yellow crime scene tape can't buy a thrill unless you're getting away with something....  eh

Thanks wranx...love your take and sense of humor.

Works both ways you know...thanks for being here Larry~

Thanks for liking my stuff Dixie and for taking the time to tell me so.

I suppose when we learn what to do with our grace it all falls into place. That was my message to some degree and I thank you for picking up on it Sandpiper.

Then that is what I wish for you....a love that lasts forever.
Thank you for your sweet whispers Ethel.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

9 posted 2002-12-27 06:26 PM

Me...I just plain think it's the best of yours I ever read! I see your heart, your soul, your mind...your essence herein.

Very wonderful write dear friend...plumb proud to have read it.

jwesley

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