A Lactose Intolerant Christmas

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Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

0 posted 2002-12-24 07:50 PM

It's almost impossible for me to write
a poem about the holidays this year.
The last three years I've been depressed
and controlled by people who have no right to
control me.
It seems like something's missing when I don't
have to say to my parents that I'm depressed;
when the school doesn't phone home because I'm suicidal.
(little do they know that I've got other problems this year)
It doesn't feel like Christmas.
In a week and a half I have to go back to school
and back to the dramas that plague dorm life.
Maybe I'll stop drinking this year... haven't drank
since that night with them.
Maybe this year will be full of joy or maybe it won't
I don't know and I'm not going to worry about it, but
I'll remember to put a Lactaid pill out with the glass of milk
just in case Santa is lactose intolerant too.
Two centimeters of snow, and still I haven't ridden;
but maybe I'll ride tomorrow...
(Merry Christmas, Shammie, now stand still while I put the saddle on.)
I think I'll take some pictures, it's just not the same without them, you know?
I'll plaster my dorm room with them and sit and brood for the rest of the semester;
wishing that I could go back to the days when I was a little girl
and each Christmas morning my eyes would light up when I saw the toys Santa brought.
When my mom and dad would wait anxiously for me to open my presents so they
could see my face...
I'll wipe away the tears and pretend that I don't miss being a little girl;
and I'll go over to Ryan's and we'll walk down to the gas station;
but I won't remember a thing the next day.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2002-12-24 07:53 PM

Keep that pill handy and have a safe and happy holiday........Nice to get the general and meet you......wish you the best!

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

2 posted 2002-12-24 09:03 PM

Sweetie I hope you get through the holidays and can manage a smile from time to time. Being away at school and living in a dorm is not easy. I am on my third child away at school and he has his ups and downs too! Hang in there.

If there's anything I can do to help or you need someone to talk with, please feel free to email me.

Hugs, Marti from Boston

Let our love circle the world and
bring Peace to all this Holiday Season.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

3 posted 2002-12-24 09:23 PM

Rhonda, I felt a lot of emotion and heart in this poem. Kinda "homesick", even at home, is what I got from your poem, little friend. You know, once you've lived "away from home", even in a dorm, things aren't ever quite the same as before.
Good luck, Rhonda. BTW, as old as I am, I still get "homesick" for the days I was a teen-ager at home, with not really any worries.

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

4 posted 2002-12-25 02:03 AM

Skyfire let's not sugarcoat it. Life really sucks. I've been around for awhile and I've seem way too much bullS**t in my time. Obviously you've seen way too much and it's robbed you of that little girl. But here's my thought on suicide, what if reincarnation exists? That means you have to come back here and start aaaaall over again. And well, that just blows. Don't let the bastards grind you down. You're eluding to some dark times and dark problems but you have to fight through it. There are things worth living for and if so find them and fight for them.

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (12-25-2002 02:03 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2002-12-25 04:40 AM

yep, I know it too! Good write, very expressive.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

6 posted 2002-12-26 12:10 PM

Rhonda, I think the best medicine is SHAMMIE!
Saddle up and ride, get those blues outta your hide!
As for Santa? Just give him a cup of hot of apple cider with a cinnamon stick.

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