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Open Poetry #24
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2002-12-23 02:29 PM


Gunshots ring,
are you listening?
Purp subdued,
Cops are kicking..
A horrible sight
every night
Walking in a ghetto wonderland

Run away, from the sirens
screeching tires, break the silence
pushers and theives
scatter like leaves
when cops come in my ghetto wonderland

In the alley druggies buy a kilo
give themselves a name like Mr. Brown
He'll say are you packing?
He'll say No man!
But just in case the pusher pats him down

Later on
we'll admire
three of four raging fires
I face without fear
these streets as they leer
a white man in a ghetto wonderland

In the alley there's an aging hooker
wears more makeup then a circus clown
every night the cops come down to book her
she doesn't seem to mind going downtown

When it snows
it is thrilling
all the purps inside chillin
I can go out an play
in my honkey white way
Living in my ghetto wonderland

Living in my ghetto wonderland
Living in my ghetto wonderland


An X-mas tribute to my old neighbourhood, gosh I reeeaaaally miss it

© Copyright 2002 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-12-23 02:37 PM


This a wry and sardonic commentary on a portion of society seldom portrayed on a Christmas card.

I consider it a very clever lampoon.

I'm dreaming of a white bread Christmas...


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
2 posted 2002-12-23 02:42 PM


Thanks Karen, judging from some of your stories I knew you'd appreciate it without flinching. Hope the mods agree.

raph

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2002-12-23 02:48 PM


(chuckling) Shouldn't laugh... all the scenes you portray are terrible, yet put to the tune of winter wonderland it is a great lampoon of the side of reality so many take for granted...

Enjoyed...

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
4 posted 2002-12-23 02:50 PM


Interesting write,
Wandering or walking in the ghetto,
And yes Virginia,
Santa doesn’t go there because of the crime.
Minor point,
Dealers never pat down clients,
At least not on the street, they’d get blown away as narcs
Real dealers, not the low level street boys
Have someone near that will chill you on the first wrong move.
Street boys don’t care,
So they wouldn’t pat down either.
Another thing,
It’s the strange face, the out of place face,
That really gets their attention,
And perhaps a bullet.

You did well with the subject
And adapting to the tune,
Has a homey feel for me.

Gloom

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2002-12-23 02:58 PM


now I don't feel so bad about where I'm living...nice write!
Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2002-12-23 02:58 PM


Now that's a version I've never heard before, but I've seen this scene in the snowjob called Los Angeles.
But real dealers shoot, then pat.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
7 posted 2002-12-23 03:12 PM


Cpat I was laughing writing it too, I mean i have to laugh about some of these things too otherwise i'd go mad.

Professor I know it's shoot first ask later, but you try keeping in rhyme, it was much darker before a few lines were changed to make it a little more fun. yes fun, as i said it's laugh or cry and to me few subjects are sacred

Dixie neither do I moved out a long while ago although to tell you the truth it's only a few blocks away, but what a difference

Kacy i can't imagine LA or NY, this is a small part of town in Toronto and a ghetto here means nothing compared to some of those in the states, i've been through NY and have friends in Detroit so i know i was still lcuky in my own little way


Rainbowdust
Member
since 2002-12-05
Posts 320
Sydney, Australia
8 posted 2002-12-23 07:37 PM


Very very clever! Putting this in a place of honour in my library!

The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
9 posted 2002-12-23 08:21 PM


Makes you realize your troubles aren't all that bad.  Enjoyed the read... in a sick sort of way.  Thanks for sharing and taking the time to write this one... not the easiest thing to do when you have to stay true to the tune.  Peace!
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2002-12-24 12:00 PM


Rainbow thank you very much, i'm honoured you've honoured me with that..um honour, jeez i'm no good taking compliments

Thanks andrew I liked writing it ..in my sick sort of way. Glad you enjoyed


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 2002-12-24 12:22 PM


Well, here's one mod that thinks it's great. To make light of a sad situation, get a smile out of it and still present to the reader that the sad situation is real and happening is good writing. Lampoons and parodies are a great way to make light of difficult situations....glad you got out!
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
12 posted 2002-12-24 01:46 AM


Sometimes the truth is quite shocking to some, but I have seen this and this is mild by comparison to the real thing.  Parodies are a great way of addressing issue that sometimes need addressing, and on the occasion of Christmas you did it well

         
Season's Greetings
    from my home in Canada to yours!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
13 posted 2002-12-24 01:53 AM


Thanks Deer I'm glad I'm out too, I'm also glad you think its great. I'm surprises at all the responses I thought i'd get none or worse pulled for it.

Mysteria thank you for the kind words, I come from a place where i'm no longer easily shocked so i may have a darker sense of humour than some, glad to see i didn't offend.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
14 posted 2002-12-24 06:52 AM


yea,yea,
and whitey's on the moon.........
liked your slice of life, if you think this would offend anyone, screw em, youd silence your pen,
dont!

Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
15 posted 2002-12-24 07:16 AM


this one smiles through the pain of truth--enjoyed and Happy Holidays!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
16 posted 2002-12-24 08:13 AM


Oh Raph, this one really tickled my fancy! kept making me giggle. very clever, and very real. loved this christmas scene! this is definately goin in to my library.
lots of christmas love, gemma xxxxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
17 posted 2002-12-24 03:14 PM


Inked I not to worry I didn't really care about offending anyone, but it was nice to see that it didn't and there is a sense of humour however dark

thanks sandpiper happy holidays to you too appreciate the words

Thanks gemma and lots of xmas love back at ya

visitvenus
Member
since 2002-12-30
Posts 101
PA, USA
18 posted 2002-12-31 03:01 PM


Ok, so I got this a little late, but it cracked me up all the same.  I'm a sucker for a song parody.

Proof of which -- While I was reading this, I was listening to Sean Morey's "A Hairy Butt" which is to the tune of "Aquarius".

-Venus
P.S. If you're a song parody fan too (or just need a laugh - you can play clips off his albums), check him out at www.seanmorey.com

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
19 posted 2002-12-31 03:07 PM


thanks visitvenus better late than never I've checked out the site thanks, I loved the frank sinatra spoof I did it Her way lol
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
20 posted 2002-12-31 03:22 PM


I loved this!  Thank you for sharing.

Susan

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
21 posted 2002-12-31 03:36 PM


Raph, don't know how I missed this, since I look for your poems. Anyway, I'm glad it got bumped back up.

I love the way you laughed about your past situation. I don't think it could have been any better written...very unique.....  

"Love makes the world go around"
~~with love and hugs from Ethel~~  
                  

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
22 posted 2002-12-31 03:54 PM


I've had surgery in that wonderland before!....Hell, I've had several surgeries and one or two were by doctors!...This is a wonderful write....and I know how true it is....been there....glady you and I are both out.....but, there are a few things I miss about those wonderlands.....
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
23 posted 2002-12-31 04:03 PM


This reminds me of a neighborhood where I used to live... dealers had my apartment before me so I NEVER opened the door at night... just hollered for the hopefuls to go away. LOL

You did a great job... I'll be humming all afternoon.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
24 posted 2002-12-31 04:09 PM


Thanks Susan glad you had fun and it was my pleasure to share these twisted thoughts!!

Thanks Ethel that's sweet of you to say, looking out for my poemsan all, have a happy new year and hugs.

Thanks Toerag nice to meet a fellow survivor hope those surgery scars aren't too visible lol

Thanks suthern what a lovely neighbourhood lol must have made for some interesting visitors though.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

25 posted 2003-01-01 11:43 AM


Aenimal, very well done! Glad you got out. Maybe I will someday.

I never would have bought a house in this neighborhood had I known the politicians' future plans for the area. They seem to have an uncanny way of keeping their plans well hidden from the folks that it will most directly affect. And they are still going full steam ahead. A consortium of business/political/university/banker types are concentrating on the "revitalization" of areas in the immediate perimeter of Center City Philadelphia, further pushing the undesireable criminal element more and more into the older working class neighborhoods.

But, it's winter now, so the streets are a bit more on the quiet side, which is very welcome.

Some folks have reneged on their mortgages and just walked away, not being able to sell their homes. I haven't been able to bring myself to do that, at least not yet. It's something that I seriously think about, though, believe me, especially in the summer months.

But, who knows? Maybe if I stay here long enough, my area will become a target of "revitalization" and then I will be the proud owner of a home that I wouldn't be able to afford to buy in that "revitalized" market!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
26 posted 2003-01-01 02:57 PM


Denise I hope things work out for you, ironically enough I've gone back to the neighbourhood, just passing through mind you, and their attempting a revitalization project too, a gas station and a car wash..oooooooooooo. lol
Take care and stay safe

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