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Open Poetry #24
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Le Capitan de L'Amour
Member
since 2000-07-15
Posts 60


0 posted 2002-12-19 11:38 AM



Every other week I see you;
I see your green eyes that once in a while let your thoughts slip out of your mind;
Mysterious eyes which I see with great devotion,
Goddess of my heart;
Once in a while I look at the perfect slopes of your body;
Once in a while I look at your angelical face that reminds me that there is a heaven out there;
Once in a while I try to touch your soft silky smooth desirable skin;
Once in a while I wish I could kiss you;
Once in a while I wish you knew that I like you;
Once in a while I wish you knew that I love every second I spend with you;
Once in a while I wish that I could snap out of you; my dreary dream that with delirious desire have me as a fish in the net;
What I’m I saying? Is not only once in a while, what I mean to say is: I will Forever, Always Love you!

© Copyright 2002 Le Capitan de L'Amour - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2002-12-19 12:55 PM


you've captured the thought process of being in love very well. Maybe you should say something and let the person know...ey?
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2002-12-19 12:56 PM


Maybe reformat it? I think if you restructure it, only say once in a while once, then maybe indent the rest as thoughts strung out behind that statement?
Just an idea.

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