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Open Poetry #24
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2002-12-19 10:58 AM



there are some
I guess
that have to
eat up the roads, today,
traveling to and from
their chance for pay

someone
has painted them
with frosting
yet
for some reason
I don't think
that's going to
make them
tastier

they do look pretty
though
all white
and sparkly

the coating's
thin enough
here, though,
that I don't
believe
they'll be
unsafe

so maybe
they're just
coated with
a lovely garnish
to bless the eyes
of the witness

©December 19, 2002

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

© Copyright 2002 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
1 posted 2002-12-19 11:02 AM


It sounds pretty, but I'm glad I don't have to drive on it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2002-12-19 11:10 AM


Virginia...it is very pretty but can be dangerous.
Good write!
Have a safe and happy holiday season.
~Hugs~

~ Season's Greetings to my 'family' at Passions ~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2002-12-19 01:02 PM


I love the open road and the freedom! But since the accident, I don't drive any more than I have to...
christian
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

4 posted 2002-12-19 01:08 PM



line breaks here serve effectivey.
the one word lines and stanza pauses
add to the feel of the poem. and you
managed to draw a nice image. i cant
see anything wrong with this. i enjoyed
it.

-chris.

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